Saturday, April 28, 2007
The Kountdown to my 21st has begun.Labels: 21st Birthday
Friday, April 27, 2007
I don't know about you people but I have a very minimal tolerance level for chain mails. Some time ago, I decided to see if chain mails did actually have someone reading and responding accordingly. To my horror, there were replies that were sent to me for my mails in correspondence to the questions. Here's the chained mail followed by the reply I sent them. They have yet to reply on this one but I is anticipating a reply ASAP.The Email:
"FROM:MR. JUBRIL TANKO
AFRICAN DEVLOPMENT BANK (ADB)
ACCOUNTS & AUDITING DEPT
OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO.
WEST AFRICA
GOOD DAY FRIEND,
IT WILL BE A SURPRISE FOR YOU TO RECEIVE THIS MAIL. WELCOME THIS LETTER IN THE NAME OF ALMIGHTY GOD.
I AM MR JUBRIL TANKO, THE DIRECTOR OF THE ACCOUNTS & AUDITING DEPT. AT THE AFRICAN DEVLOPMENT BANK OUAGADOUGOU-WEST AFRICA. WITH DUE RESPECT I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU ON A BUSINESS TRANSACTION THAT WILL BE BENEFICIAL TO BOTH OF US AT THE BANK'S LAST ACCOUNTS/AUDITING EVALUATIONS, MY STAFFS CAME ACROSS AN OLD ACCOUNT WHICH WAS BEING MAINTAINED BY A FOREIGN CLIENT WHO WE LEARNT WAS AMONG THE DECEASED PASSENGERS OF AN AIRLINE CRASH ON NOV. 2002. SINCE THE DECEASED WAS UNABLE TO RUN THIS ACCOUNT SINCE HIS DEATH. THE ACCOUNT HAS REMAINED DORMANT WITHOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIS FAMILY SINCE IT WAS PUT IN A SAFE DEPOSIT ACCOUNT IN THE BANK FOR FUTURE INVESTMENT BY THE CLIENT. SINCE HIS DEMISE, NOBODY, NOT EVEN THE MEMBERS OF HIS FAMILY HAVE APPLIED FOR CLAIMS OVER THIS FUND AND IT HAS BEEN IN THE SAFE DEPOSIT ACCOUNT UNTIL WE DISCOVERED THAT IT CANNOT BE CLAIMED SINCE OUR CLIENT IS A FOREIGN NATIONAL AND WE ARE SURE THAT HE HAS NO NEXT OF KIN HERE TO FILE CLAIMS OVER THE MONEY. AS THE DIRECTOR OF THE DEPT, THIS DISCOVERY WAS BROUGHT TO MY OFFICE SO AS TO DECIDE WHAT IS TO BE DONE. WITH THE FEW PERSONAL IN MY DEPT, WE DECIDED TO SEEK WAYS THROUGH WHICH TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY OUT OF THE BANK AND OUT OF THE COUNTRY TOO.
THE TOTAL AMOUNT IN THE ACCOUNTS IS TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS(USD 10.5M).WITH OUR POSITIONS AS STAFFS OF THE BANK, WE ARE HANDICAPPED BECAUSE WE CANNOT OPERATE FOREIGN ACCOUNTS AND CANNOT LAY BONAFIDE CLAIM OVER THIS MONEY. WHILE WE WERE CONTEMPLATING ON WHAT TO DO, A FRIEND OF MINE WHO WORKS WITH THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY RECOMMENDED YOUR PERSONALITY TO ME AND ADVISED I SHOULD ASK YOU FOR HELP TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY OUT OF THE COUNTRY. THE CLIENT IS A FOREIGN NATIONAL AND YOU WILL ONLY BE ASKED TO ACT AS HIS NEXT OF KIN AND I WILL SUPPLY YOU WITH ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION'S AND BANK DATA TO ASSIST YOU IN BEING ABLE TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY TO ANY BANK OF YOUR CHOICE WHERE THIS MONEY COULD BE TRANSFERRED INTO. I AND MY PARTNERS HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE AWAY FORTY %(40%) TO YOU FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND TEN (10%) FOR ANY EXPENSES THAT MIGHT ARISE DURING THE TRANSACTION OF THIS TRANSFER. WE WANT TO ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS ABSOLUTELY RISK FREE SINCE WE WORK IN THIS BANK WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD BE CONFIDENT IN THE SUCCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION BECAUSE YOU WILL BE UPDATED WITH INFORMATION AS AT WHEN DESIRED.
WE WILL PLEASE WISH YOU KEEP THIS TRANSACTION SECRET AS WE ARE HOPING TO RETIRE WITH OUR SHARE OF THIS MONEY AT THE END OF TRANSACTION WHICH WILL BE WHEN THIS MONEY IS SAFELY IN YOUR ACCOUNT. WE WILL THEN COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR SHARING ACCORDING TO THE PREVIOUSLY AGREED PERCENTAGES.YOU MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO ADVISE US ON POSSIBILITIES OF INVESTMENT IN YOUR COUNTRY OR ELSEWHERE OF OUR CHOICE.MAY GOD HELP YOU TO HELP US TO A RESTIVE RETIREMENT. AMEN.
PLEASE FOR FURTHER INFORMATION AND ENQUIRIES FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME THROUGH MY EMAIL ADDRESS.
I AM AWAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE!!!
THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED.
MR JUBRIL TANKO. "
---------------------------------------------------------------
The Reply:
Dear Mr JUBRIL TANKO-UP-YOUR-ASS,
Whoever the fuck you are from whatever african aids foundation you're from, I've been receiving this motherfucking email from you for the last one motherfucking 'pain in my ass' month. I've tried replying politely or avoiding this chain motherfucking email from you but you seem to be getting onto my motherfucking nerves. Doesn't it get into your African 'my dick's bigger than my head" numb skull that your black ass ain't entertained in an Asian country? Try the Americans. They have blondes living there. They're dumb. I earlier sent a reply stating clearly that I don't want anymore of this motherfucking bullshit only to get a reply assuring me that it ain't a chain mail. I gave you an account number of a friend who told me he wanted to test if this is real but you failed to motherfucking deposit the fucking money. And whichever punani was it who told you about my personality? Will Smith or Chris Tucker?
Now before I start registering myself with all the porn sites using your email add, I hope this stops. And trust me, I know more ways to cause a damage through chain mails than you already are doing. No amen for you, just Om Shakti.
Cheers you black boy!
Labels: Africa, Bank, Chain Mail
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Today is the 26th of April. Not that I care much but it's a reminder that in exactly 23 days, is the 21st birthday of someone who was mistakenly brought into this world. Yes, yours truly. In the space of the next two days, I'll be putting up my birthday wishlist. I seriously don't think I'll be doing anything for my 21st birthday since dad thinks like this:
Dad: [Calling me from work] Where are you now?
Me: At home la. Why ah?
Dad: Your birthday coming right? What you planning to do?
Dad: Your birthday coming right? What you planning to do?
Me: Dunno la. I wanna arrange a party. How? Can or not?
Dad: Can. I also thought of the same thing. Book a hall, call all your friends and relatives and all.
Me: *Jaw drops to the floor* Waa! Can! When you wanna start arranging and all? I'll get a few friends to help me with it. DJ all no need to worry. Some of my friends are DJs. Food also no need to worry. I got friends doing catering. I got contacts everywhere. Just tell me what to do. I'll arrange. I can even get everything squeezed in for a thousand dollars.
Me: *Jaw drops to the floor* Waa! Can! When you wanna start arranging and all? I'll get a few friends to help me with it. DJ all no need to worry. Some of my friends are DJs. Food also no need to worry. I got friends doing catering. I got contacts everywhere. Just tell me what to do. I'll arrange. I can even get everything squeezed in for a thousand dollars.
Dad: Ya la. I also can get cheaper than that. You think I don't have connections ah? But when you gonna pass me the $1000?
Me: Heh? Nehmine. Call you back later. You go work.
Labels: 21st Birthday, Dad, Party
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Liverpool's European Statistics
Liverpool's Overall European Record: Played 271. Won 155. Drawn 58. Lost 58.
Liverpool's record in European Cup: Played 140. Won 83. Drawn 29. Lost 28.
This is Liverpool's 14th European Semi Final and their 8th in this competition.
This will be the fifth meeting of the sides in Europe and Luis Garcia, in the Semi-Final second leg in 2005, is the only player to score.
Of the men that played at Stamford Bridge at this stage two seasons ago, Igor Biscan, Djimi Traore, Milan Baros, Djibril Cisse and Vladimir Smicer are no longer playing at Anfield while Chelsea won’t be calling on Glen Johnson, William Gallas, Tiago Mendes, Eidur Gudjohnsen and Mateja Kezman.
The Reds have won 25 games in the European Cup since Rafa Benitez took charge, losing just eight of the 41 games.
The Reds' biggest away win in the Champions League (excluding qualifiers) came in the last round when they won 3-0 at PSV.
Liverpool have lost just two of their last 16 away games in Europe, both by a single goal margin - 1-0 at Benfica in February 2006 and 3-2 at Galatasaray on Matchday 6 last December.
Jamie Carragher will equal Ian Callaghan's club record of 89 European appearances if he takes the field in this game. He was an unused substitute against PSV at Anfield two weeks ago.
Steven Gerrard is the club's third highest scorer in Europe with 19 goals and only Michael Owen (22) and Ian Rush (20) have scored more.
If Peter Crouch scores again in the Champions League during this campaign he will break the club record for most goals scored in a European Cup season. He has seven, the same tally achieved by Roger Hunt (1964/65) and Steven Gerrard (2005/06).
Bolo Zenden could feature against a former club for the third successive round. He played for Barcelona and PSV before playing for Chelsea between from 2001-03. He scored four times for the Londoners in 59 games in all competitions.
Should he be involved in this game Sami Hyypia could make his 400th appearance for the Reds.
Jermaine Pennant's only goal for the Reds so far came against Chelsea at Anfield in January.
Liverpool have scored 15 hat-tricks in Europe down the years with the last coming in July 2005 when Steven Gerrard scored three against TNS at Anfield.
Only nine Liverpool players have been sent off in the club’s illustrious history. The last was Igor Biscan in Marseille in March 2004.
Since Arsenal scored six at Anfield in the Carling Cup in January Liverpool have conceded just eight goals in 17 games and kept clean sheets in their last four games.
Liverpool's record in European Cup: Played 140. Won 83. Drawn 29. Lost 28.
This is Liverpool's 14th European Semi Final and their 8th in this competition.
This will be the fifth meeting of the sides in Europe and Luis Garcia, in the Semi-Final second leg in 2005, is the only player to score.
Of the men that played at Stamford Bridge at this stage two seasons ago, Igor Biscan, Djimi Traore, Milan Baros, Djibril Cisse and Vladimir Smicer are no longer playing at Anfield while Chelsea won’t be calling on Glen Johnson, William Gallas, Tiago Mendes, Eidur Gudjohnsen and Mateja Kezman.
The Reds have won 25 games in the European Cup since Rafa Benitez took charge, losing just eight of the 41 games.
The Reds' biggest away win in the Champions League (excluding qualifiers) came in the last round when they won 3-0 at PSV.
Liverpool have lost just two of their last 16 away games in Europe, both by a single goal margin - 1-0 at Benfica in February 2006 and 3-2 at Galatasaray on Matchday 6 last December.
Jamie Carragher will equal Ian Callaghan's club record of 89 European appearances if he takes the field in this game. He was an unused substitute against PSV at Anfield two weeks ago.
Steven Gerrard is the club's third highest scorer in Europe with 19 goals and only Michael Owen (22) and Ian Rush (20) have scored more.
If Peter Crouch scores again in the Champions League during this campaign he will break the club record for most goals scored in a European Cup season. He has seven, the same tally achieved by Roger Hunt (1964/65) and Steven Gerrard (2005/06).
Bolo Zenden could feature against a former club for the third successive round. He played for Barcelona and PSV before playing for Chelsea between from 2001-03. He scored four times for the Londoners in 59 games in all competitions.
Should he be involved in this game Sami Hyypia could make his 400th appearance for the Reds.
Jermaine Pennant's only goal for the Reds so far came against Chelsea at Anfield in January.
Liverpool have scored 15 hat-tricks in Europe down the years with the last coming in July 2005 when Steven Gerrard scored three against TNS at Anfield.
Only nine Liverpool players have been sent off in the club’s illustrious history. The last was Igor Biscan in Marseille in March 2004.
Since Arsenal scored six at Anfield in the Carling Cup in January Liverpool have conceded just eight goals in 17 games and kept clean sheets in their last four games.
Rafa Benitez's press conference statement
The Reds squad will fly down to London later today ahead of Wednesday's tie and Benitez admits confidence in the camp is high.
"Our idea is to win if possible. Sometimes you have to play counter-attack and sometimes press high, it depends on the situation. But it would be good to score a goal and come away with the win. This is a very good positive situation for us and you have to approach games like this with confidence. We know them, they know us, that is clear and at the end of the day it could be just the small details that make the difference. Chelsea have been champions in this country for the last two years and they are a very strong side, especially at home. Maybe they are a better side than two years ago but we also have more experience now and I think we can do it. I can tell you the players are as hungry for success now as they were two years ago."
"Our idea is to win if possible. Sometimes you have to play counter-attack and sometimes press high, it depends on the situation. But it would be good to score a goal and come away with the win. This is a very good positive situation for us and you have to approach games like this with confidence. We know them, they know us, that is clear and at the end of the day it could be just the small details that make the difference. Chelsea have been champions in this country for the last two years and they are a very strong side, especially at home. Maybe they are a better side than two years ago but we also have more experience now and I think we can do it. I can tell you the players are as hungry for success now as they were two years ago."
Don't miss it for anything in the world. Chelsea Vs Liverpool tonight. Kickoff at 2.45am. Adios. Labels: Champion's League, Chelsea, Liverpool
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Sit back and listen carefully. It's good shit.
Talking cock in Parliament- Hossan Leong
Labels: Hossan Leong
Monday, April 23, 2007
Labels: Signboards
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Cigarettes. For those who play it safe, you have no idea about the adrenaline rush. For those who do, you know the hidden unvoiced 'fly to the moon and back' feeling not even sex can grant. But here are pictures we do NOT like to see.For the educationally inclined:
For the 'PHD' title holders [Poly Halfway Dropout] like me:
However, here are pictures we'd rather cast our eyes on:
Labels: Cigarettes
Adios.
Labels: Comments
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Just in case you didn't notice, I have changed my fonts. Look around. I am sure there are at least 12 different fonts for you to cast your eyes on. I spent a whooping 6 hours by the computer trying to read up on HTML codes and learning how to apply em'. Initially, with the fonts being the sole outkast, everything else was done up by me from scratch. Now I dominte the fonts I use. Soon, I'll take over the HTML codes. Cool ain't it? And just in case you're pondering over where you might have seen this font that you're reading now, try see if the word 'n-gage' helps. Or why not see if the channel 'ESPN' helps with where I got this font from. Just in case you wanna customize the fonts that you use, clicking here might interest you. If you're unsure of how to use em' as fonts, MSN me. I'll teach you how to use HTML codes. tzf;fk;Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Ever been in a car when a women was driving? Bad decision. Never make the same mistake twice, you hear me?Anyhow, I have with me this piece of video that I uploaded in youtube some time ago. It's about time I cut the ribbon.
The Intro: Dawn is my friend. We were schoolmates back in the Singapore Polytechnic. We USED TO BE friends but now that she has got her Class 3 Driving Licence, she has turned out to be our number one enemy. [Am kidding] It's often a habit to entrust dawn with our treasured lives when she's driving us anywhere. She once NEARLY ENDED OUR LIVES with her 'Jean Claude Van Damme' U-turn where she went head on with traffic. Steady la this 'Char Bor'. [Women in hokkien] And if you ever see a women driving behind following you around, don't freak out. Maybe she's jut looking for a car park. Like dawn does, here:
Or, take a look at how dawn parks her car, here.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
It's gonna go. Completely. Everything's gonna go. All those loving memories, all those time and effort I spent. It really hurts to let go. It really does. It was such a difficult decision for me to make. I feel so empty now. I feel like I have nothing to hold on to. Nothing to grab in times of happiness or sadness. Nevertheless, the decision has been made and I cannot be regretting my decision.
I is cutting my hair soon. Adios.
I have my way with kids. No, really. I somehow get along with even the most stubborn of kids after a while. It somehow magically happens. Don't ask. Meanwhile, meet Abidah.
This is the same girl whom Sarah mistook for a boy. [Lord Jeez!] This is the same girl who now hates Sarah cause Sarah mistook her for a boy. [Allah!] This is the same girl who now hates Dave, Sarah's boyfriend, because Sarah mistook her for a boy. [Muruga!] We found it out like this:
Me: Abi, do you like Aunty Sarah?
Abi: *Shakes head*
Me: *Laugh like a lion*
And just in case you're wondering how I know this kid or you find this kid familiar, click here for details. Meanwhile, the photos taken on the same day Sarah mistook Abi to be a boy:
This is Abi' Aunty.
And finally, the culprit. The one who mistook Abi to be a boy. The one who Abi hates to the giduga. Abi swore on her half nude McDonald's toy while munching on her nuggets that she is never bringing her mummy back to Sarah for threading. And by the way, I told her to darken her photo and brighten mine a little. Looks like it didn't happen. Nevermind, I will settle this problem in MSN.
Let's end this with Abi showing us one or two tricks. Adios.
Let's end this with Abi showing us one or two tricks. Adios.
Labels: Abi, Kids, Sarah, Tashvini
