Thursday, April 09, 2009
The Jealous Questions
You know, the gender war between men and women will NEVER end. It's just how nature is. I will never get along with any girl. I just somehow get put off at some time. And so will they. It's just not me to click with a girl. And they too, on the other hand, will never understand me. And I don't need them to actually. Sometimes, things are better left unsaid and untouched. But I will answer basic questions. The ever honest me.
Q: Why are men such jerks?
A: It's in the testosterone. Much similar to your PMS thingy. We men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter? [And it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure] Hormones modify behaviour. We're just misunderstood.
Q: Why do men always have to ogle at other women?
A: Again, this is a testosterone thingy. Do you honestly think all that testosterone fell off from our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just better at not getting caught. It's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorise it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we tend to stare longer and as much as we can to try and burn this into our memory.
Q: Why do men always touch themselves, especially in public?
A: We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public just doesn't give me the excuse to not adjust him. It's uncomfortable you know?
Q: Why do men always say such stupid things?
A: We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see you women get frustrated by a few simple [and well chosen] words.
Q: Why are men so uncommunicative?
A: So that you learn to shut that big fat mouth of yours too if you always get into trouble by opening it and saying the wrong stuff.
Q: Why do men have to act such retards?
A: Actually we don't have to. We do it because we enjoy it.
Q: Why can't men just share their feelings?
A: Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea on how we feel? Unless you're talking about a brick landing on my head from the 30th storey, I have no idea how I feel.
Q: Why can't men just say "I love you"?
A: Men are taught from tender young age to be self sufficient. To say that we love you is equivilent to saying that we need you. Most men consider this a character fault. It's not easy to admit one's character fault, is it?
Q: Why do men say "I love you" when they barely a women?
A: Haha! Aren't you supposed to be special? Some men consider this a special way of saying that you're special. And some think it's a sure fire way to get into your pants. [And quite surprisingly, it still works. Ho ho ho]
Q: Why doesn't a man sometimes answer a women?
A: We simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your stupid questions. If we think we do not have the answer or that you will not like the answer, we will keep quiet and preserve the energy for other things.
Q: Why do men just fart out loud and not maintain it on the low?
A: Actually, I was doing up a post on farts. I will release it on a later date but the reason why we fart is to show that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's a sign of affection. [Besides, holding it back for hours causes stomach cramps]
Q: Why do men hate shopping?
A: This, I need to badly answer. It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it and bring it back. Who the hell wants to spend hours to look at things we don't intend to buy? Besides, what the fuck are your female friends for?
Labels: Gender Fights, Men, Women
Praba
- 10:35 PM
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