Saturday, March 20, 2010

GUESS WHO'S BACK?!

You know, I can't hold much longer. It's about time I came back to doing what I used to do best. Put everyone on fuck while the fun lasted. And god damn, did I miss this blog and everyone I put on fuck carefree. It's me. Once again. This time, to stay on. 

Fresh out from the army, I is looking for a job. And trust me, it ain't that easy to find. Especially when I am trying to find a job that is flexible. What adds fuel to fire, is the fact that I am indian. What adds kerosene to fuel is the fact that I'm the kind of inidan who prays and NEEDS to visit the temple more than I visit the toilet. Let's face the fact. Unlike YOU, I visit the temple everyday. If I'm gonna be working shift jobs, it's gonna eat up the amout of time I visit the temple or go for bhajans. I was looking through the papers today when I saw all kinds of job advertisements. Now, do you really think they mean what they say? I'll tell you what they really mean.

Keyword: Competitive salary.
What they mean: They remain competitive by paying you less than their competitors.

Keyword: Join our fast-paced company.
What they mean: They have no time to train you.

Keyword: Casual Work Atmosphere
What they mean: They don't pay enough to expect that you dress up.

Keyword: Some over-time required.
What they mean: Some every nights and some every weekends.

Keyword: Duties will vary
What they mean: Anyone in the workplace can boss you around.

Keyword: Must have an eye for details.
What they mean: They have no quality assurance.

Keyword: Career minded.
What they mean: Female applicants must be childless. [And remain that way]

Keyword: Apply in person.
What they mean: If you're too old, fat or ugly, you'll be told that the position is filled.

Keyword: Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience.
What they mean: You'll need it to replace the other 3 people who just quit.

Keyword: Problem-solving skills a must.
What they mean: You're walking into a perpetual chaos.

Keyword: Requires team leadership skills.
What they mean: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager. [Without the pay and respect] 

Keyword: Good communication skills
What they mean: Management communicates, you listen. And figure out what they want and do it.

Keyword: Good time management skills
What they mean:You'll be 3 months behind time when you start work.

Keyword: Bilinguals preferred.
What they mean:You must be a chinese person who speaks chinese. Doesn't matter if you're an indian who can speak chinese. You must be chinese.

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Name - Praba
Age - 22
Birthday - 19 May
Horoscope - Taurus
E-Mail - narakabarp@gmail.com

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Praba.
20 This Year.
Cursed to be here.
First to be clear.

You won't understand till we trade places.
I need my own breathing spaces.

See, my life ain't promised.
But it'll sure get better.
Hope you undastan my love letter.

I dropped 5 times but I'm still breathin'.
Livin' proof there's a god if you need a reason.

I think about it everyday.
I haf so much to say.
My main thing was to be major paid.
This game's sharper than a muthafuckin' razor blade.

I wanna be meaningful.
Not winnin' fools.
I followed fools.
Swallowed rules.
Now I'm starting to trip.
I'm losing my grip.

Many were impressed when they saw praba writin'.
Now wait for him to start fightin'
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