Friday, April 10, 2009

The Plus Points

Plus points. Very important factors when it comes to courting. You know, the distance men go just to date a girl, sometimes disgust me. Why bother doing so much? I will never understand this bullshit but hey, since I am the ever suggesting Praba, here we go on plus points.

The Flowers:

You go out to buy her flowers [+5 points]
But return with beer [-10 points]
And lipstick marks all over your face [-15 points]

The Protective Boyfriend:

You check out a suspicious noise at night [+5 points]
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing [0 points]
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something [+10 points]
You pummel it with a sledgehammer [+15 points]
It's her cat [-50 points]

Social Engagements:

You stay by her side the entire party [+5 points]
You stay by her side awhile and then leave to chat with a drinking buddy [-5 points]
Named Siti [-10 points]
Who is a strip dancer [-15 points]
And has implants [-20 points]
And her G-string showing [-50 points]

Saturday Afternoons:

You visit her parents [+5 points]
You visit her parents and actually make conversation [+10 points]
You visit her parents and stare at the TV blankly [-10 points]
And the television is off [-15 points]

Her Birthday:
You take her out for dinner [+5 points]
You take her out for dinner and it's not a sports bar [+10 points]
You give her a gift [+15 points]
You give her a gift and it's a small appliance [-10 points]
You give her a gift and it's not a small appliance [+15 points]
You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months [+30 points]
You wait till the last day and then buy her a dress at the last minute [-10 points]
With her credit card [-30 points]
And whatever you buy is two sizes too big [-100 points]

Thoughtfulness:

You forget to pick her up from the bus stop [-10 points]
Which is in Tuas [-20 points]
And it happens to be raining that day [-30 points]
And her dress gets damaged because of all this [-50 points]

A Night Out With Your Friends:

You have a few beers [-5 points]
For every bear after 3am [-5 points for each glass]
And miss curfew by an hour [-10 points]
you get home at 5am [-20 points]
You get home at 5am smelling of beer and cigarettes [-30 points]
And not wearing pants [-50 points]
And is that her panties? [-200 points]

A Night Out. Just The Two Of You:

You see a comedian [+5 points]
He's crude and sexist [-10 points]
You laugh [-20 points]
You laugh too much [-30 points]
She's not laughing [-40 points]
You laugh harder [-50 points]

Driving:

You lose the direction on a trip [-5 points]
You lose the direction and end up getting lost [-10 points]
You end up getting lost in Yishun 925 [-15 points]
And you end up confronting the anjadis there [-20 points]
She finds out you lied about having a black belt [-50 points]

Communication:

When she talks, you listen displaying a concerned expression [+20 points]
When she talks, you listen for over 30 minutes [+25 points]
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV [+30 points]
All this is because you've fallen asleep [-50 points]

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Name - Praba
Age - 22
Birthday - 19 May
Horoscope - Taurus
E-Mail - narakabarp@gmail.com

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Praba.
20 This Year.
Cursed to be here.
First to be clear.

You won't understand till we trade places.
I need my own breathing spaces.

See, my life ain't promised.
But it'll sure get better.
Hope you undastan my love letter.

I dropped 5 times but I'm still breathin'.
Livin' proof there's a god if you need a reason.

I think about it everyday.
I haf so much to say.
My main thing was to be major paid.
This game's sharper than a muthafuckin' razor blade.

I wanna be meaningful.
Not winnin' fools.
I followed fools.
Swallowed rules.
Now I'm starting to trip.
I'm losing my grip.

Many were impressed when they saw praba writin'.
Now wait for him to start fightin'
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