Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Weird Weird Emails

See, I have low tolerance for forwarded emails. Worse still, if they weren't forwarded emails but you decided to compose them thinking we'll be fascinated. Truth is, I don't give two peanuts. So stop sending me weird emails. I know you took the effort to write all this and stuff but the next time round, please forward them to my junk mail.

Fact: Flying squirrels don't really fly, they glide from branch to branch.
I Ask: And who was the wise guy who named it flying squirrel?

Fact: Camels have three eye lids.
I Ask: So wat? You're Shivan now?

Fact: A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
I Say: Oh man! What a dumb fish.

Fact: No two zebras have the same striped pattern.
I Ask: What are you? A thumbprint?

Fact: An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
I Say: First a dumb fish. Now a dumb bird. Go fuck the goldfish.

Fact: Roadrunners are large crested birds that prefer to run rather than fly.
I Ask: Then why the fuck is you a bird? Fly off bitch.

Fact: A purple finch is really crimson in color.
I Ask: Then which colour blind son of a turbine named him purple finch?!

Fact: You're 20 times more likely to be struck by lightning than to be bit by a rattlesnake.
I Say: Shame on you pussy snake.

Fact: Bengal tigers are the most water loving of the big cats.
I Ask: What the fuck do you think you are? A lohan? You're a tiger. Do the real thing.

Fact: Elephants are the only animal that can't jump.
I Say: And they better not jump.

Fact: Butterflies taste their food by standing on it.
I Say: Wat a weirdo. Imagine if I were to stand on my thosai everytime I wanna taste it.

Fact: Flamingos are pink because shrimp is one of their main sources of food.
I Ask: You fucking with me? I eat rice with yoghurt most of the time. Why aren't I white?