Tuesday, October 31, 2006
After 'I swear I didn't know I gulped down that much beer' mugs with Ah Neh yesterday, I is extremely tired to blog today. And I is rushing for another klklan meet up with Ah Neh and Ugra (With the company of more beer and liquor of course) So I will cut short all unnecessary talks and instead divert all attention to another blog.A very dejected esh called me yesterday to weep on the phone. So like when all indian gals weep in a movie when a guy rapes them and runs away only for the great hunk of a hero to catch him and give him four across his face before he finally becomes a changed man and united with that poor women, I expected a guy to be in the picture to have done something harsh to esh. But hell no. That's where this thing takes a different toll. Take a look at esh's pleas to be let off peacefully, here.
P.S: Now if that 'wham' sounds that I heard through the phone was coz of you banging your head against the wall, it's ok sweetheart. That is acceptable. It enlarges your head by a bit. But if you're banging your chest with your hands, please refrain from doing that sweetheart. It makes things flat. Adios.
Labels: Eshvanya
Monday, October 30, 2006
Disclaimer: This post is purely on my account and doesn't necessarily have to represent the views of the rest of the klklan. I reckon that I is held responsible if there is a need for disagreement or clash of ideology)The klklan. Firstly, I would like to start by saying, love us or hate us, you're still gonna read us. Of late, the tag board has been worked the shit outta it. It's understood that as much as we are loved, that much we'll have our fair share of haters. And I'd like to emphasis that this post is written not becoz I wanna pacify the taggers. This is to clear up certain misunderstandings. Just so that you understand, the use of the word 'keling" which somewhat gives people the wrong idea, we from the klklan are indians. All of us. No one goes around saying they're chinese. Ah neh doesn't claim to be an American. Chandi doesn't claim to be a Swede. The ladies ain't from venus. And I, most certainly, ain't Jamaican. We're kelings just like you are. That same brown ass you have, we also have. (Colour tone varies) That same sambar you lick off each and every finger you have, even toes if necessary, we too consume. The same "Dei pundamavanae, tah puas ah?", I also use. That same thaipusam where you unleash all your 'makkals' at, I also attend. That same tekka where you think we look down on is exactly where I reside at. I is not living in denial. I is indian. Probably more indian than you, and enjoy every single second being one. If a black man can look at his own kind and go "Yo nigga, how yo doin'?", then I think it's only wise of you, and being wise hardly happens in the indian klkommunity, if you can accept the fact that we use keling in substitution for Indian. Absolutely nothing wrong I see in it.
We don't put up photos in keling killahs if it serves no purpose. There's absolutely no need for us to take a photo with our handphones and send it to our e-mail account for the roughly estimated charge of 30 cents (depending on size) when we could have topped it up with a dollar, head to tekka, order 'dua kosong' prata, eat the dripping oil outta it and burp with 10 cents still left in our pockets. When we have a photo, we definitely have a 'steady pom pee pee' story to go with it. So if your photo has been featured in keling killahs, be happy. You're famous now. An estimated, 500-600 (to say the least) log in each day to read us. We know how they pageload us in the thousands each day. So if you're that ugly to be featured on tv, take the next big stage-keling killahs. We're no different from those who look at a fellow indian at his/her not-so-impressive performance and go "Tamilans will never thirunthuraan la" (For the benefit of those non indians, whom I've been hearing visit us in the tens and twenties per day, it means to say indians are incorrigible) What you think, is what we portray out in words through our posts. Too bad if you think otherwise. Not all five fingers are the same. No ten man thinks exactly the same on one given topic. But we cater to the majority. So if you see a need to fuck us becoz you think differently from us, try join the http://kelingkillah-killahs.blogspot.com clan. Now if you're one of those affected by being the hot topic, READ THE NEXT PARAGRAPH CAREFULLY.
I've been there, done that. To your sheer amazement, and amusement on my part, I'd like to tell you that I was a victim in klk too. To find out how, click here. But unlike you, I didn't put up a mama drama. Instead, I saw a meaning as to why it's functioning and it's been a really good journey since then. So the next person who gets featured, be wise and purchase a "I got klkilled" collar pin that we're selling at a very discounted price. Just for you. See, we ain't bad after all. (Don't say we never hor, we even did collar pins as a souvenir. Even I didn't get that when I was klkilled. No need to thanks us. All in the name of lau. So no hard pheelings yaar?)
See, we speak the truth. We do not make up any of our posts just because we feel like it. So be it tekka or ang mo kio or yishun, with the exception of the ladies in the klklan, we will say the same damn thing that we put up in our posts. Understand that, everything we post up is a reflection of our thoughts. I'm not the kind who'll puts up things and deny when questioned face to face. I have enough balls to say what I type right to your face if the need arises. so ask me here, ask me outside, I'd quote the same damn lines I typed out. And please be very clear of one thing. We DO NOT attack individuals because we have anything against them. When needed, I don't scold or type it out. I is man enough to find them personally to throw in a few punches instead of "Hey mike, jokka pesu therima." So hear it from us now: we speak only our hearts.
So having said the above mentioned, I hope you find new things to complain about. And for a klk update, the new poll is up. Go vote for which klk product you would most wanna welcome for usage. Ranging from ringtones to MSN emoticons till t-shirts, we've covered it all. If you have further suggestions, MSN me. Adios.
Beer. The poison in the hearts of the affected. The potion in the hearts of the dejected. That's exactly what I think about beer/liquor these days. An estimated hundred men, to say the least, who drink everyday, can never be wrong. Take it from me. I know exactly the reason. There's so much joy bubbling in that ice cold beer. So if you don't know the reason as to why men drink, don't offer advises. See, in any scenario, you're either part of the solution or part of the problem. So if you can't do the job that my beer bottles are doing, don't attempt at it.
Stop giving me that "Oh my agilaandeshwari/allah/jesus, you drink?" Yes I do drink. And it's been on the rise of late. And happy to say, it's without even the slightest of regrets. Of late, I've become a drinking icon. And since Ah Neh knows I can't live longer than him to say "Cheers la machi", I've managed to figure out which hangover rating I fell under.
1 star hangover
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you. You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka and Red Bulls. However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a bag of fries.
2 star hangover
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Although you have a nice demeanor about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.
3 star hangover
Slight headache. Stomach feels crap. You are definitely a space cadet and not so productive. Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because the perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 am. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a vadai and a litre of coke watching daytime TV. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 6 chicken nuggets and a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once.
4 star hangover
You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might spew. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide the fact that you (depending on your gender) either missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, or, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgems. Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from a second-grade class circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one of the following - home time, a cheeseburger and somewhere to be alone, or a Time Machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before. You scare small children in the street just by walking past them.
5 star hangover
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you. Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last drop of moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe...very gently.
6 star hangover
You arrive home and climb into bed. Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi. You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up. You notice that your bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room. No matter what you do you now, you're going to chuck. You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail. After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the pictures, you find the toilet. If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls. You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus noises, spitting, and farting. Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived. Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark. With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent. You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your tonsils shoot out of your mouth on the last occasion. It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as you try to climb into bed. She/he abuses you again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair. You reluctantly accept their advice and have a shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital. Work is simply not an option. The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make you sick again, like moving. You vow never to touch a drop again and who knows for the next two or three hours at least you might even succeed.
OK, now hands up all those who have never had a six star hangover!!
I knew it!!
Adios.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Since everyone is seemingly crying over the Miss Vasantham road to final, much more than the participants themselves it seems, I thought I'd do justice by turning the attention to the SMSes that are being sent while the show goes on.What's uglier than the host himself, as well as rafi's stolen shades, is actually the SMSes that are sent simultaneously while the show is aired on television. It's during shows like this that we really separate the Indians that are far better off, financially, than us. Else, plain stupid. Just so that the mathematically declined know, each SMS that you send costs $2. The normal SMSes are at 5 cents each. So mathematically, you could have sent 40 of the same SMS to the person that you intended it to. Why waste money when that $2 could have been topped up with another 10 cent to purchase an ice cold Breda beer from 7-11?
Once again, praba jumps into the scene of the crime. All just so that the next time Rafi appears on screen, and for the fact that I feel nauseous when I do look at him, I'll be able to look at the SMS board and see something heart warming that reads "Hey guys, did you see Rafi appear in keling killahs? That was hilarious!" instead of stuff that go "Hey sexy sambar, how you doing?" which never fails to get me going with the 'tsk' sound.
And if you don't want others to be looking at the SMSes you send and start nudging their mates to tell them something that goes "Hey take a look at this guy's SMS. Just as stupid as him. Hehehe", then don't do the following. Here are ways to save your blushes.
1) The first thing praba notices when he actually casts his eyes on the SMS board is the amount of 'da' the guy uses to address a girl. We get the message that you're a manmatha kunji but who the fuck are you smsing it to? Brandy? Cut out the 'da'. And by the way, whether your 'da' means to be rude or romantic, we don't wanna see it on TV. My grandmother gets 'bitchfits' when she sees such things.
2) See, if your father/mother/brother/sister/aunty/dog is celebrating a birthday, call them personally to wish them. We have a more than necessary number of raj's and bala's in singapore. Each and every one of them are gonna look at your sms and think that it's intended for the other. So make it direct. Call them and say "Dei macha, happy birthday da. Tonight Raagawoods ah?" And being just a lil' curious, what's with wishing one year olds? You mean they understand?
3) Yes my friend, we all know the devadas that you are at heart. But why let the whole of Singapore know you've broken up with your 'traffic light of a contact lens' girlfriend? If there's that much honesty and sincerity, call them. I bet they'd appreciate your sincerity. Why make yourself look stupid live on tv?
4) If you think that someone you met at a club is cute, approach them the next time for their number. Don't send in SMSes like "Hey Loosu Pennae, why didn't u come to ashoka yesterday? I think you're quite hot." What's loose pennae supposed to be? Her I.C number? How the fuck is she gonna know it's her that you're talking about. We have a vast number of loosu pennu roaming in yishun. Just pluck up the courage to approach them when you see them the next time round. Oh yea, on a personal note, did you mean loosu pennae or 'loose' pennae?
5) Stop SMSing stuff like "Hey sharmen, you look good" He's hosting a live television show while you're sending that SMS. What's the point of sending it when it doesn't reach the intended person? The closest person to sharmen who'll read it, is his wife. You want his number, call me. I'll give it to you. You can start sending him mushy voice messages and we'll broadcast it as the second scandal case in Keling Killahs.
6) See, we don't care if you're having muscle crams or menstrual crams but we sure can't and don't want to do anything about it. It would have been more futile had you sent that message to GH. You wouldn't like it if someone SMSed something like "Hey viewers, I'm now playing with my used tampons and there's this jelly like thing in it. You wanna see? MSN me at Ihaf2muchmoney2throw@waste.com"
7) Let me end off with a KLKlassic example. One sent in which reads: "My darling wife, I love u da chellam! You looked so damn good and sexy yesterday. Can't take my eyes off you. Miss u so much! U are one sexy, hot babe!" Now I ask this: You mean you want the whole world to know that you're horny? (Kudos to ket for keeping watch fimly on the SMS board)
All said and done. Come finals, 8 will fight it out. But only one will be in the spotlight. One will outshine the others. Make the finals worth watching. Coz my mum uses watching Miss Vasantham as a good excuse to take a good nap. My best wishes to the finalist.
P.S: And after you have emerged victorious, don't be a bitch by ignoring your old friends/well wishers. (And it always happens coz people suddenly think they're god) Peace.
When you keep thinking about a certain something, does it mean something certain? My mum has an encyclopedia when it comes to me dreaming about anything. Dream about peacocks and she'll immediately mention Murugan. Dream about elephants and she'll definitely mention Vinaayager. Dream about snakes and she's bound to mention Shivan. But when it's beer that I dream of, there's no way in hell my mum is gonna mention anything about Muniswaren. The closest thing to muniswaren would be a parang. And me getting slaughtered with it. Just to satisfy your curiousity, the dream goes like this:
I was down to the 7-11 near my place. To be exact, the 7-11 beside the little india arcade. I bought the usual goods. Beer. Depending on the amount of money still left in my 'ang po' collection and the intensity of my mood, the dosage needed will be calculated and upon purchasing, will be debited into my stomach. Nothing strange bout' the dream just as yet. The funny thing here is, instead of turning back to head home after finishing my cans, I decide to actually advance forward to the usual drinking place of my klkillah's. The selmor coffeeshop. Seated there, accompanied by god knows how many beer bottles, was Shanker(A.K.A Ah Neh) and Ugra Chandi. Another peculiar thing was that the expressions on their faces seemed to portray my mood. Somehow, the usual "KNN" from shanker was missing. If you know him, you'd know his trademark word 'KNN'. Which, of course, is the acronym for the word 'Kan Ni Na'. Instead, a heart fond talk about sad life stories was going on. Shanker, however, decided that bringing me to a corner to lay down his love stories was the better option. Now all this while, I was sleeping sound. The part where praba wakes up to wonder about something, in every form of the word, was when shanker tears and wipes his tears off only to cry again and then for me to wake up not to see him tear again.
See, it's a strange dream not coz I met my friends at the coffeeshop when I didn't expect them there. Not becoz shanker cried. Not becoz I didn't head straight home after finishing my cans. Not becoz I actually decided to walk over to selmor. The million dollar question is, would he have gone saying "KNN" had I not woken up by this point in time?
I is KLKonfused. Adios.
Labels: Dream
Thursday, October 26, 2006
BRB. Acronym for 'be right back'. Easily understood by any regular internet user like me. It's ok when you use acronyms that are understood by the vast majority. But when people start taking matters into their own hands, there's where it gets a lil' nerve wracking. See, acronyms like BRB, STD, PLS, ASAP or LOL are all undastood and often used by many regardless of their age. But stop using acronyms that we don't understand. Sometimes, chatting in MSN could be a lil' unnerving when people start inventing their own acronyms just for their own added comfort. But the real problem starts when you get your acronyms misunderstood. Judge for yourself.Acronym: DYTIRAAG?
What it could actually mean: Do you think I really am a girl?
Acronym: Hehe. TWYT
What it could actually mean: Hehe. That's what you think.
Acronym: Grr. EMWIBY
What it could actually mean: Grr. Excuse me while I block you.
Acronym: IJS
What it could actually mean: I just stripped.
Acronym: IAGAY?
What it could actually mean: I am gay. Are you?
Acronym: IAANYPT. WMAV?
What it could actually mean: I am actually NYP tammy. Wanna make a video?
And just so that I don't get left behind in this acronym establishing business, I've come up with one too. It's always pays to be on track. And mine goes like this:
Acronym: WATAGSUATOTGU?
What it means: When are these assholes gonna stop using acronyms that only their grandmother's understand?
Adios.
Labels: Acronyms
Monday, October 23, 2006
Disclaimer: This post is dedicated to those who didn't reach their expected 'ang pao' targets this year and for those slightly more to the 'I so badly wanna bitch coz all my friends collected more dough than me' mood.
Deepavali. The excuse to buy new clothes and clean up the mess you made outta the house you live in. The time to escape everyday food at home and feast on something nicer elsewhere. Nicer becoz you're paid to eat good food cooked by someone else. Paid as in in the form of an 'ang pao'. And 'ang paos' are a must becoz you see an additional item being added to your 'die die must get' list every 30 seconds.
The countdown
If you think that deepavali is the bigger event and not the countdown, I bet you not. If you noticed, the countdown always carries a longer 'orgasm' periods than the day itself. If you took yourself to the streets of campbell lane on deepavali eve, you'd know exactly what I meant. It's not about the mood. It's about getting into the mood. Armed with foamed spray cans and party poppers, our dear yindians cruised through the already crowded bazaar. And party poppers and foamed spray cans are a must to irritate the shit outta everyone. So what if you don't know them? The idea is to finish the foamed can to give your money a good worth and to show everyone what an irritating muthafucka you are. For those who wanna remain in the anonymous category and do not wanna risk the "Fuck you la chee bai, your mother never teach you ah?", use the bomb bags. Inflate that deflated son of a bitch and run away to hide and watch it explode to shoot some 'cum' looking liquid right up the skirt of some girl walking. All in the name of being sporting. *Applause*
Nevermind if you've run out of pick up lines or lack the brains to think of one. There's no need to worry coz you can always walk up to the cute chick and say "Hey, happy advanced deepavali wishes." Even though it doesn't mean peanuts to you if she celebrates deepavali or not. This is that one day where you get a step closer than all your previous attempts by shaking their hands. 2 for $8 beer cans and malaysian cigarette packs play an important role in welcoming the festive mood. Whether or not you go there to shop or 'eye wash', doesn't matter. All you need is alot of beer and your own world.
The over-rated day
I am not hiding anything. On a normal day, I am as lazy as a buffalo to drag my ass to the bathroom. I am a typical dirty boy. Brushing of the teeth is good enough hygiene for me unless I am going out. And I know I am a dirty boy. But on a festive day, to wake up and oil myself followed by applying something that looks like mud, is abit too much. My mum does something strange every deepavali. This year, she took it a step higher. I was told to walk into the bathroom and apply the oil that was in the bathroom. When I actually got to the bathroom, I was greeted by a bottle placed at the door. It read "Ithayam Nallanei." What the fuck? That's like the same oil my mum uses to make 'thosai'! Must be that god damn sun tv's influence. So when in doubt, skip the oil and mud application part.
This year's deepavali was spent visiting relatives and friends. The visiting of a relative is made fun only when you badly wanna collect some 'ang pao' and tear the shit outta it to see a red note there waiting to welcome a new pack of cigarettes into your pocket. But all that money doesn't come in easy. Hell no. There's definitely some heartache to come with it. It's weird when your relatives invite you home and they tell you things like "make yourself feel at home" only to start asking questions that leave you crossed and wishing you were actually at home. This deepavali, I was advised and asked questions. Advices that were redundant and questions that I couldn't and wouldn't wanna answer.
So heed my advice, the next time you ever visit a relative, never stay more than 10 minutes in one house. Follow the 4 C's that I so strictly follow every deepavali. Come, consume, collect and ciao. Adios.
Labels: Deepavali
Friday, October 20, 2006
Just so that friends of mine reading this know, I have finally got a contact number to my name. The number reads 9-3-5-5-3-5-7-1. So anything, call me. Coming to my post now.So it's finally almost here? The time to get piss drunk and lie naked outside raagawoods? The time to carry a tiger beer bottle and wait outside amaran just to hammer that fella who stared at your girlfriend in 1800B.C? The time to screw some girl you picked up in the club whose name you forgot but sounded something like S-H-O-I-K-A? Not any of these? It better not be. This year, celebrate it the safe way. The festival of lights. Such a beautiful festival. Please do not turn it into the festival of fights.
And sorry once again for the false alarm. I is not inviting anyone over for deepavali. Financial problems to put it simply. And from the bottom of my heart, I wish all yindians and readers a really splendid deepavali. You have a good holiday. I will not be blogging till deepavali is over. So well wishers, if you see yourself a need to wish me, my msn add is jus at the right side. Or else, call.
Vani, we'll see if you actually are the first caller for deepavali or someone else beats you to it. I is loving this first KLKaller shit. I'll take my leave for now.
Adios.
Labels: Deepavali
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Apparently, we indians have been labeled with the 'hip hop wanna-be' title. Not surprising if you were to walk around yishun on a good day. All those fake blings and eye blinks. I am not in any way surprised that we're labeled as such. Now, prior to yesterday, I'm one man who ain't interested in indians remaking english songs or getting tamils songs mashed up with the hip hop genre. Thanks to Ugra Chandi, I is now hooked to a new indian song. You can choose to see the indian hip hop video here (highly reccomended)Or, take a step further to see english songs in the karnatic version. A KLK recommendation.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
That's 'KLK' in handsign. Not 'fuck you' in some other language.Now if you were around my beloved terrific tekka last saturday(14th Oct), you'd have heard about the utsav. If you were and you didn't know, shoot yourself. Now if you have been faithful to the blog that's in the heart of every yindians, keling killah that is, you'd have known by now how we're always so revised through specially for the miss vasantham reviews. Now on saturday, the girls from miss vasantham were in for a surprise. I prefer to call it the KLK ambush. Details stated below. Read on.
So like how ah neh puts it, Klk was 'accidentally' invited to utsav. This invitation card, has a long story to it. It pays to know one or two.And like all yindians, we were a good 30 minutes beyond time. All good seats (good here refers to how close you get to stand near the barricades) were already taken up. Now the sad thing here is, I forgot that my dad was the official. Had I called him, I'd have been escorted by securities into the VIP stands. Darn it! But nevertheless, with ah neh's contacts, we were actually in a place far better than the VIP stand. The backstage that is.
Now this, is seriously lacking in all yindian events. A tiger beer booth. Now since ah neh scared the tiger girl, we had no choice but to get the front end of the booth and rear end of the tiger girl.
To make up for scaring away of the tiger girl, ah neh towers above on gayathri's shoulders to snap some 'impossible to pull off' shots.
The question mark for the day. What the fcuk was this 2 wheeler doing there? You mean this shit scares off potential threats?
Ahh. The four legged friend of mine. I couldn't help it but go "shembagamae shambagamae" in my mind. Picture taken just seconds before the clumsy cow tripped and fell-not.
Now, the highlight of the day. Our darling miss vasanthams. What the miss vasanthams know, is that they're gonna have 2 girls to actually hold up a banner for them. What they do not know, is that one of them is actually a klk girl, esh, while the other is a klk ally. Surprise surprise. And if that wasn't good enough, ah neh, me and gayathri had to stun the show. Little did they know that esh was watching their every move. I am loving it.
Now, there were 2 different photos of them. But thanks to my digi cam expertise, we're left with one. Darn. Dun ask what happened. And not bad eh, they were quite sporting to actually pose for klk.
That's the klk ally with the 'veerapandia katabomman' look holding up the banner and esh is on the other side wishing she was never in this picture in that very spot.
And to finish it all off, a Klklassic Klkamwhoring.
Now this, is seriously lacking in all yindian events. A tiger beer booth. Now since ah neh scared the tiger girl, we had no choice but to get the front end of the booth and rear end of the tiger girl.
To make up for scaring away of the tiger girl, ah neh towers above on gayathri's shoulders to snap some 'impossible to pull off' shots.
The question mark for the day. What the fcuk was this 2 wheeler doing there? You mean this shit scares off potential threats? 
Ahh. The four legged friend of mine. I couldn't help it but go "shembagamae shambagamae" in my mind. Picture taken just seconds before the clumsy cow tripped and fell-not.
Now, there were 2 different photos of them. But thanks to my digi cam expertise, we're left with one. Darn. Dun ask what happened. And not bad eh, they were quite sporting to actually pose for klk.
That's the klk ally with the 'veerapandia katabomman' look holding up the banner and esh is on the other side wishing she was never in this picture in that very spot.
And to finish it all off, a Klklassic Klkamwhoring.Friend 1
I: Hey where you at?
Friend: At home rotting of boredom. Wanna go orchard play pool? Nothing to do la.
I: Why not come over and help me with the cleaning of the house?
Friend: Your hall/kitchen all clean what.
I: It's not the hall. I'm talking about my room when I say clean my house.
Friend: Oh, I going out to meet my friend now la. Besides, your room tak boleh. (cannot in malay)
Friend 2 (Chinese)
I: Hey where you at?
Friend: At home lor.
I: Why not come over and help me with the cleaning of my room? Deepavali coming leh.
Friend: You siow ah?! Your room si beh cannot make it one la. The last time we tried cleaning, shermain nearly fainted leh. *laughs*
I: Some friend you are.
And so, the third friend of mine, I decided to lie. Pretend to pay her a lil' so that I get to see my room clean for once. Classic is the word for this conversation.
Friend 3
I: Hey, praba here. You free not?
Friend: Waaa. Now then you remember me after so long ah?....bla bla bla
I: (Brushing aside all unnecessary talks) I need a small favour leh. How? Can do not?
Friend: Depends la. Can do means I sure do what. You know my style.
I: I jus need you to clean my room. Will pay you for it. How?
Friend: Engages the phone.
Friend: At home rotting of boredom. Wanna go orchard play pool? Nothing to do la.
I: Why not come over and help me with the cleaning of the house?
Friend: Your hall/kitchen all clean what.
I: It's not the hall. I'm talking about my room when I say clean my house.
Friend: Oh, I going out to meet my friend now la. Besides, your room tak boleh. (cannot in malay)
Friend 2 (Chinese)
I: Hey where you at?
Friend: At home lor.
I: Why not come over and help me with the cleaning of my room? Deepavali coming leh.
Friend: You siow ah?! Your room si beh cannot make it one la. The last time we tried cleaning, shermain nearly fainted leh. *laughs*
I: Some friend you are.
And so, the third friend of mine, I decided to lie. Pretend to pay her a lil' so that I get to see my room clean for once. Classic is the word for this conversation.
Friend 3
I: Hey, praba here. You free not?
Friend: Waaa. Now then you remember me after so long ah?....bla bla bla
I: (Brushing aside all unnecessary talks) I need a small favour leh. How? Can do not?
Friend: Depends la. Can do means I sure do what. You know my style.
I: I jus need you to clean my room. Will pay you for it. How?
Friend: Engages the phone.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Firstly, I need to apologise. The deepavali open house that I so badly wanted to host, has been called off. So if you weren't aware of this post and you nicely appear at my gate, my mum will throw a torn 'thosai' at you. Now if you're wondering why I called off the open house which I was so excited about, to put this the simplest and most 'face saving' way I could think of, I is financially strangled. And thus, no deepavali for me this year. Hope the message has been sent across. But however, this doesn't give you an excuse as to why you didn't call me at midnight to be first to wish me. If you fail to call and wish me, the very next day after deepavali, you will see a post put up with the title "Friends who deserved to be dumped"And just to remind the masses yet again, I am selling vinaayager plates for deepavali to provide annathaanam for kids in Raamakrishnan Mission. (Request: And please, do not be stingy on this. I don't get deepavali money to buy clothes this year and yet I am struggling to save up to facilitate the annathaanam. So knowing that you're better off than me, maybe you should just do your bit. Much appreciated.) The plates are going at $20 each. To be perfectly honest, the $20 is to facilitate the annathaanam that we're gonna provide poor children. No profits earned. You can buy one and choose to keep it as a display or give it away to someone as a deepavali gift or you can choose to hit your irritant of a younger brother with it. All we need, is to sell all this plates by deepavali so that we can facilitate our cause. We hope you can play your part to make someone else's day. For more information on the vinaayager plates, click here
Sunday, October 15, 2006
First off, I've been thinking about something big. Something that I am gonna work my ass for. If you know, you know. If you don't, then pass it. And to those whom I actually called to inform about my big dreams on TV, I apologise. I am not gonna put up anything about it here. We'll work secretly underground. You know who you are. You know my number. Call me. I'll explain. And so, moving on to today, I state rules. Rules that you really should abide by when you see praba at your doorstep.You'd have probably known by now that I am selling vinaayager plates for charity. If you don't, click here for more details. So apart from trying to sell them online, I also do door to door visits to try and sell the plates. Sad to say, I come across the most strangest people living in singapore while working. Some of the questions that they pose, I'd say is worth a slap. I've done this door to door bullshit far too many times and I am not in any way impressed with the replies/reactions I get. So here are rules IF you know me and I happen to be knocking on your door trying to sell something.
Rule 1
Do NOT open the door, put your finger in your lips, and gimme a strange look like I killed your family. If your grandmother has eyesight problems, attach binoculars to her. Or else, blindfold her and keep her tied in your storeroom. The next time any grandmother gives me that weird stare, I'll jus give her one punch in the eye and walk off.Rule 2
Please stop yelling to your husband/boyfriend/fling "There's an indian boy here!" Crazy women, why the hell you shouting for? What am I? A terrorist? You just say someone is here. Stop adding the words "indian boy" to remind me that I fall under the minority.Rule 3
If I tell you the name of the charitable organization, and it sounds very indian, do not ask me "Is that an indian thing?" Does ramakrishnan mission sound any chinese or malay to you? Where're you from? Zimbabwe?Rule 4
If you don't wanna buy, say so. I've got many places to go to. Stop asking me if the plate was painted in thailand by a transsexual or whether it was transported by a bullock cart to singapore or have we paid our taxes. Ask me questions ONLY IF it affects the factors of you buying it. You mean to say you'd only buy the plates if they were coloured by crayons? You wouldn't like it if I were to ask you what sized undergarments your daughter wears to find out how old she is would you?Rule 5
Stop asking me questions outta the blue. I am not there to make friends with you and add you up on MSN. I have a job to do. I don't care if you squat and shit on your plant to fertilize it or whether you use your wife's menstruation pad to fertilize it. Your soil is not my toil. I is least bothered. So the next time, don't ask me what is the best fertilizer to use. When in doubt, pour some kerosene and set your rose plant ablaze. It looks worse than your wife anyway.Rule 6
Peepholes. If I were to knock on your door, please open the door to listen to me. Do not check me out from the peephole for the next thirty minutes all the way till I walk off. The next time round, if you're looking through a peephole and you see something dark, RUN! I'll be pointing a gun right at the peephole.Rule 7
Keep away from me that maid of yours. Especially if she only knows how to say the words "I dunno". I will slap the shit outta her to indonesia. And even if your maid happens to be indian, try stop her indian slangs. You do not wish to see her guest appear at keling killahs do you? And so, I do not wish to hear the words "Yaaro Vanthiruka-her" I am not a 'her'! I is a 'him'.
Rule 8
When I am talking, you do not answer me together with your entire family. One at a time please. I know my ears are big. But they're not that big till your family can play 'kabadi' inside. But the interesting thing here is, when they all speak that bloody fast and they all do it so synchronized like as if they knew I was coming, it sounds like a song! Try it with a friend when you're free.
Rule 9
I am 20 donkey years old. Stop asking your 7 year old kid, who gives me that gay smile, to converse with me while your wife lies like a hippo in front of the TV and you're lying on her beer belly. What the fuck did she swallow? A microwave oven? And was it the sound of sun TV that I heard playing in the background while your son was giving me a gay smile? I'll set your house on fire.
Rule 10
When someone knocks on your door, be it your friend/enemy/loanshark, attend to them neatly. If your hair is long enough to sweep the floor while walking and they're curlier than curly fries, tie it up. You sure you're indian? You look like the tribe men from africa.Rule 11
How in the world do you sneak in a panda bear to your house? Oh, you mean to say that was a dog? Bloody keep it refrigerated in the fridge jackass. I do not wanna be intimidated when I am talking. But, of course, if that was a cheat code to chase me away, kudos!So let me just end it off here. I carry along with me, a paper where the donor's name is taken down to say a thank you on behalf of ramakrishnan mission. But from tomorrow onwards, when I am hitting the blocks, I am gonna carry along an extra piece of paper with the headings "Addresses of people whose door I should throw some paint at".
Thursday, October 12, 2006
The Season To Show KLKare & KLKoncern
This is one of the designs that we have for the plate.
And this is the other.
Lakshmi FountainNormal retail price: $95.00
But because you know me: $70.00
Shivan FountainNormal retail price: $70.00
But because you know me: $55.00
Vinaayager FountainNormal Retail Price: $85.00
But Because you know me: $60.00
Yinaayager Fountain
Normal retail price: $45.00
But because you know me: $30.00
To personally get your orders for the fountain and the plates, email kelingkillah@gmail.com or prabadiouf@hotmail.com
Normal retail price: $45.00
But because you know me: $30.00
To personally get your orders for the fountain and the plates, email kelingkillah@gmail.com or prabadiouf@hotmail.com
So in the future, do your kids a favour. Name them something unique. Give them a sense of fashion. Give them a sense of branding. Give them a sense of popularity. So I is once again offering solutions to end the naming headaches. So here we go, ways to name your children.
Name your children after movie characters
Character: Nemo
Suggested Name: Nemo Chao Loh Han.
Character: Frodo
Suggested Name: Mohd. Frodo Bin Bodoh
Name your children after places
Place: Geylang
Suggested Name: Loh Rong Wan
Place: Thailand
Suggested Name: Chao Ah Qua
Place: Bangkok
Suggested Name: Goh Beng Kok
Name your children after brands
Brand: ArmaniSuggested Name: Noh Ma Ni
Brand: Nokia
Suggested Name: Wah Ren Ti
Brand: Reebok
Suggested Name: Neh Neh Pok
Name your children after popular business
Business: E Commerce
Suggested Name: Goh Sim Lim
Business: Breadtalk
Suggested Name: Kong Loh Tee
Business: Sales
Suggested Name: Mah Ker Ting
Name your children after popular pastime
Pastime: Shopping
Suggested Name: Goh Shor Peng
Pastime: Karaoke
Suggested Name: Goh Sing Song
See, there we have it. Funky names for the future generation. Adios.
The still same lame, shame acclaimed, pick up lines. What the fuck are you trying to do?? Was that a pick up line or a throw up line? If you're a guy and you want a gal so badly, just go up to her and tell her "Hi, my name is punnaku s/o saambarnaathan, can I get to know you?" Problem solved! End of worry!
Women do NOT like pick up lines. But even if you still do use it on them, I present to you, pick up lines you should completely avoid using on a girl. So here we go, pick up lines that can earn us a slap if we said something like:
1. Excuse me, didn't I see you last week at a Communicable Disease Centre/Desker Road/Geylang?
2. Excuse me MRS, I'm a police officer, can I have your name and contact number?
3. WAAA! SO BIG AH? No no, I meant the design on your shirt.
4. Xiao jie, I want to be quarantined...with you.
5. Hello mary, wanna watch Da Vinchi Code?
6. Hey, never bring along your children?
7. Hey I got 7 A stars you know?
8. Hi, can I buy you a glass of Newater?
9. Hi. I think your C.B very nice. No no, I meant your character and beauty, not chee bai.
10. Hey, although your face looks electricuted, your body looks electrifying!
11. Hey, weren't you the one in Alpha Slimming Center/Funan Hair Care/IMH?
And the last line which almost earned a friend a slap before:
12. Hi. Although I am single, I have a double bed. (This is for real)
While I was blogging this, I recalled this one incident:
I was once walking in yishun when this two indian guys were behind me. Jus steps ahead of me, within arm's length, where two young indian girls. And narrowing the gap on me, thus the two girls, the guys started singing the song "Un samayal araiyil, naan uppa sakaraiya?" which of course made the two females stare rudely at them before they deviated. Now if ever someone were to sing that song to you to tease, turn back calmly and say "Pulikottai!" Adios.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
I've mysteriously been missing for the past few days. At the temple is where I was. Where there is a temple function, there's definitely a bound to bump into praba. Just in case you were looking for me to appear next at the firepit, sorry to disappoint, I didn't this year. My firewalking account has already been settled. So next year when you see me, I hope you'd have something else to ask me instead of "Hey! How come you not walking this year?" And do not, I repeat, do not ask me "Hey what you doing here?" What else will I be doing in a temple jackass? Dance practice? And to all friends whom I saw but was too busy to ask "Dei makkal, approam?", I am absolutely sorry. I had people consistently talking to me coz they're consistently losing touch with me. At least I smiled or waved didn't I? Next year I'll wear a face mask.The Event
Theemithi 2006. Talk of the town- The two men who decided to swim on fire rather than walk. Wanna know why? One was cursing and swearing at the officials in perumal temple and the other thought redefining the definition of fasting wouldn't hurt. They had to find out the hard way. I know the two men indirectly. One's in ICU (Intensive Care Unit) just for your added information. So if in future you're gonna firewalk, do what I do. No computer, no television, not much hanging out and even if you do, it's only the temples, complete vegetarian and listen purely to god songs for a month and a half, And you'll be playing soccer the same day you walk fire-barefooted. So, no matter how big the fuck you are, you dun come even a mile close to god. So don't try challenging him.The Crowd
This is serious matter. An advice from a friend you can take it as.To the ladies: You know this is an yindian occasion where yindians are bound to drink. Please come with people who'll stand by you when someone tries to be funny and not flee when trouble's lurking. I had to accompany some people's asses while they waited for their bloody cabs coz their brave 'hunk' of a friend went missing in action when approached by a group of drunk men. And please mind what you wear. The clothes I saw some wrapped around some, not even KTV hostess can beat. If I am called upon for help and I see you attired to lure trouble, I is gonna make it a point to induce half the heat of the firepit on your cheeks. This ain't a joke. If I take the effort to actually risk myself to help you coz you're in need, I expect you to be on the virtuous side. If you're dressed like you deserved it, I is not your superman. So miss victim, the next time round when you go out, bring along someone with balls rather than a larger mass and avoid low cuts when you know even the normal of tops are low cut enough for you. You get the message, don't you?
To the men: The crowd inside the temple. You know everyone wants to get a good clear view of god just like you do. You know that everyone wants to be at the front rather than the back. So if you're pushed and shuffed aside, don't run your mouth or stare or raise your hands. These kinda things are common in temples. You wanna be so sensitive about it, then make your own thimithi festival in your backyard. You become the karagam and invite your neighbours.
The Devotees
If ever someone whom you know or around you gets into trance, unfasten their fists, which is usually clenched tight, and apply the holy ash on their forehead while calming them down. Case close. Amman relac already. The umpteen times I had to get into the picture when ladies/gentlemen got into trance, only god knows. And if you're a young boy who's probably around 17/18, whose armpit hair has jus sprouted to say hi to the world, put up a better show when you fake your trance the next time. I had a hard time grinning at your failure though. And where in your heart did the sudden outburst of piousness shoot out from? I saw tons of anjadis wrapped in yellow, kungumam all over the forehead and flowers around the neck where usually fake blings hang. I was moved..not.The Prayer
When we usually hit the temple, we'll wanna pray for the well being of family/relatives/friends and loved ones. So stop making me enter the temple and say "Dear god, I actually wore my Billabong slippers here. Please ensure no one steals them. Thank you" See, I have so much to thank and request for. I don't have time to be praying for my slipper. So please leave my slippers alone. I lost mine yesterday and my friend lost his the day before. You won't let alone even my torn slippers? Didn't your mum teach you to say to god, "Dear god, please gimme a clear mind and conciousness?" Shame on her if she didn't coz all good mums tell their kids that.The Volunteers
Why is it that I see drunk men and 'timers' playing the role of volunteers? You mean to say you couldn't find any other capable men coming forward to help? Why get someone who mumbles in his drunken state? Where the hell did you find so many 'tharuthalai kutty's' to help with crowd control? Who's that guy who was munching on fried chicken at the dark corner of the 7-11 with his official pass hanging for everyone to see? Whose that bloody fat bugger whose belly nearly swung me a near 360 degrees? He's supposed to be in charge of crowd control? Are you joking? He IS the crowd. Control him or else shoot.
The Aftermath
Enough said. Will not blog too much. So here are the pictures taken. And there are far too many to display. Approach me if you wanna see em' all. Some pictures not allowed to be displayed here due to terms and violations. (Courtesy of sanjeev, writer of tamil murasu for the day)
This picture's dark coz the heat from the firepit affects camera flashes. (Unless you have those solid manual cameras)Friday, October 06, 2006
From what the sources have told me, if your name is vijay and you're that guy who has been alerting people to my blog, I wish to thank you. And instead of asking others to add me up in MSN, which I am pleasantly surprised by, why not you add me up? Just coz you see a hundred women in my photos or friendster, doesn't mean I don't have guy friends. So gimme that honour. I prefer to meet the fisherman who fishes rather than the people who eat. And stayin' on the same subject, I wish to thank shanker, or famously known as ah neh, for his publicity about this blog. The exposure's been working the counters lately. I appreciate that.Now if you've been that faithful follower of this blog, or keling killahs, you'd know that I wrote a thing or two about sun tv. (If you don't, click here for part one and here for part two) Today I was alerted to a pro sun tv blog. And what's the most amusing/shocking/weird thing? The blogger shares the same name as me. Now, is that a crude joke from fate or is that purely coincidential? One is blogging against it, the other's bloggin' about it. The battle of the praba's if you'd like. Jus to satisfy your dying hunger, click here to check out that pro sun tv blog.
Today I hit the streets of tekka. Not so surprising if you knew where I stayed. My beloved hometown- The all so terrific tekka. Met sarah, the henna and make up artist, and anjali. (If you're wondering who sarah is, click here) I was down at the baazaar window shopping like I always do during every deepavali month. A standard routine to build up to that one big day. So the next time you're gonna be in tekka and you need this all important praba, pick up your handphone and start dialing my number. Coz it's a new experience everyday. Boredom doesn't even come close going down every damn day. Tomorro I'll be meeting my gorgeous banu to yet another window shopping. So book your places early. Now I don't wanna be too wordy since it's my "today's bullshit", which I also hate to share, so I'll jus let the photos do the talking. Now, "Camwhoring is not an option. It's an order!" says sarah.
Anjali Anjali Pushpaanjali. Sarah Michelle Geller. And AHERM, of course, of course.
Anjali Anjali Pushpaanjali. Sarah Michelle Geller. And AHERM, of course, of course.
Now, sarah is an opportunist. You're offguard, your loss. Candid photos are like candies for sarah.
See, there is a short story to my "Da Vinchi Code" smile. (Which of course sarah was relucant to explain about in her blog) Notice sarah's middle finger? Notice me laughing like a mad man? It all started when sarah asked me to droop a lil' just so that there is a lil' justification to the height difference. Now anjali suddenly popped the question "But aren't you already in heels?" Praba looks down to her heels and the rest is as explained by the picture.
I told ya sarah is an opportunist.
"Ya'll look good together" says sarah.
Women and cameras. The undivided love they share with the camera.Labels: Anjali, Deepavali, Sarah, Tekka
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Click on image to enlarge.
Click on image to enlarge.The dirrty details:
Date: 4th November (Saturday)
Time: 10pm till late. (Be there early, not like your indian timings)
Address: 10 Perak Road
Genre: Drum, Bass, R'n'B etc.
Dress code: Casual but it's a hospital theme actually. So come in dressed according to the theme and you stand a chance to win attractive prices.
Call Shanker/Ah neh @ 91691476 or e-mail @ ahneh69@hotmail.com and book your tickets early to avoid disappointment. Tickets are running out fast. So catch it while you still can.
For more details, click here.
Sick and tired of guys calling you to make friends? Wish they could never get any lamer? Pray so hard not, coz it does get lamer by the day. Now, if you're that badly liking a girl, do yourself a favour. Walk up to them if you see em' and ask for it personally. They all appreciate a man with balls. Stop calling em' giving em' 21,681,925,369,256,24 excuses as to how you got their number. And sad to say, it usually happens within the indian and malay community. And jus to help the men by giving them ideas how to get lamer, I present to you, lame excuses that are ready in hand when calling that girl whom you so badly wanna see go down on you.
1) I found it in my ex girlfriend's cleavage while making out with her.
2) It was automatically printed in the bus ticket when I took 855 to yishun.
3) It appeared on the toto big sweep.
4) My neighbour's lohan actually displayed your number.
5) It was flashing in my friend's new LCD belt.
6) You gave it to me personally on 1800 B.C remember?
7) A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend's ex aunty's beautician's ex boyfriend gave it to me.
8) I went fishing and caught an oyster. Opened it and guess what I found? Your number!
9) I found it on teletext page 995.
10) Oh, I watched that old tamil movie. The one where this guy dials anonymous numbers and ends up talking to someone? What 's the name? University? Yea, that's the movie. So I tried the same and wala! I found you.
Labels: Disturb Phone Calls
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
The wonderful wonderful nicknames of yindians. I have come across the wildest, most stupidest nicknames you'll ever hear. See, the amount of anjadis are on the rise. So probably they'll run out of ideas for terrifying/stupid/weird/ear bleeding nicknames in the near future. So once again, praba is of good use. I is offering a solution to end the nicknaming misery. Nevermind what their parents named them. It's about what their 'members' call them. Now, I know different anjadi's like different colours, for god knows why reasons, so just in case the same concept applies here, I have come up with A to Z's.A
They Call Him: Ang Soong Tong Anand.
They Say: They run when they hear his name.
B
They Call Him: Bomb Bala.
They Say: He's explosive.
C
They Call Him: Cut-Throat Chithambaram
They Say: Vettu onu thondu rendu.
D
They Call Him: Dynamite Dinesh
They Say: He's the bomb la machi.
E
They Call Him: Electric Elamaaran
They Say: He's electrifying.
F
They Call Him: Fuck-leh utta Franklyn
They Say: He's the fighter who prefers his mouth doing the work.
G
They Call Him: Gang Fight Ganesh
They Say: He's so brave that he'll bring tons of people just to beat up one guy.
H
They Call Him: Hairstyle Harichandran
They Say: There's no blonde shinier than what's on his tail.
I
They Call Him: Interchange Indiren
They Say: No bus leaves yishun interchange without his permission.
J
They Call Him: Jailbird Jegan.
They Say: He goes in every thaipusam and comes out in time for panguni.
K
They Call Him: Kungumam Kanesan
They Say: The exclamation mark on his forehead is the danger sign.
L
They Call Him: Lethal Lilydurai
They Say: He has never lost any 1-2-1's.
M
They Call Him: Maira Pudunguna Magesh
They Say: He did it in style on thaipusam.
N
They Call Him: Naughty Narayanan
They Say: He is in the heart of every yishun sarakku.
O
They Call Him: Ottu Keatta Kummunaati
They Say: He's the guy who has that eye to spy.
P
They Call Him: Panguni Paramasivam
They Say: Whether or not murugan will be there, he's defenite to be there.
Q
They Call Him: Quarter Kumeresan
They Say: No one can outdo him drinking when it comes to five star.
R
They Call Him: Rugged Rangasaamy
They Say: He once terrorized Rangoon Road.
S
They Call Him: Staring Sundramoorthy
They Say: There's no one on earth who has ever outdone him in staring. Blinking is something he has never done even while drinking.
T
They Call Him: Table Talk Thurairaj
They Say: He's the piss maker.
U
They Call Him: Undertaker Underwatersamy
They Say: Even when he falls, he gets up to fight again.
V
They Call Him: V2 Virumaandi
They Say: Any fight, one call.
W
They Call Him: Weapon Veerappa
They Say: From dustbin covers to bottles till caterpillar boots, nothing he hasn't used.
X
They Call Him: X-plosion Night Xiao Kia
They Say: A true born dancer indeed. He'll chicago with a tiger beer can at every X-plosion night. Aadu Machi!
Y
They Call Him: Yaya Yuvaraj
They Say: He's the dance group leader. Ponna style la machi.
Z
They Call Him: Zookeeper Subramaniam
They Say: From eagles to tigers to snakes, no animal has not been tattooed on his body.
They Call Him: Ang Soong Tong Anand.
They Say: They run when they hear his name.
B
They Call Him: Bomb Bala.
They Say: He's explosive.
C
They Call Him: Cut-Throat Chithambaram
They Say: Vettu onu thondu rendu.
D
They Call Him: Dynamite Dinesh
They Say: He's the bomb la machi.
E
They Call Him: Electric Elamaaran
They Say: He's electrifying.
F
They Call Him: Fuck-leh utta Franklyn
They Say: He's the fighter who prefers his mouth doing the work.
G
They Call Him: Gang Fight Ganesh
They Say: He's so brave that he'll bring tons of people just to beat up one guy.
H
They Call Him: Hairstyle Harichandran
They Say: There's no blonde shinier than what's on his tail.
I
They Call Him: Interchange Indiren
They Say: No bus leaves yishun interchange without his permission.
J
They Call Him: Jailbird Jegan.
They Say: He goes in every thaipusam and comes out in time for panguni.
K
They Call Him: Kungumam Kanesan
They Say: The exclamation mark on his forehead is the danger sign.
L
They Call Him: Lethal Lilydurai
They Say: He has never lost any 1-2-1's.
M
They Call Him: Maira Pudunguna Magesh
They Say: He did it in style on thaipusam.
N
They Call Him: Naughty Narayanan
They Say: He is in the heart of every yishun sarakku.
O
They Call Him: Ottu Keatta Kummunaati
They Say: He's the guy who has that eye to spy.
P
They Call Him: Panguni Paramasivam
They Say: Whether or not murugan will be there, he's defenite to be there.
Q
They Call Him: Quarter Kumeresan
They Say: No one can outdo him drinking when it comes to five star.
R
They Call Him: Rugged Rangasaamy
They Say: He once terrorized Rangoon Road.
S
They Call Him: Staring Sundramoorthy
They Say: There's no one on earth who has ever outdone him in staring. Blinking is something he has never done even while drinking.
T
They Call Him: Table Talk Thurairaj
They Say: He's the piss maker.
U
They Call Him: Undertaker Underwatersamy
They Say: Even when he falls, he gets up to fight again.
V
They Call Him: V2 Virumaandi
They Say: Any fight, one call.
W
They Call Him: Weapon Veerappa
They Say: From dustbin covers to bottles till caterpillar boots, nothing he hasn't used.
X
They Call Him: X-plosion Night Xiao Kia
They Say: A true born dancer indeed. He'll chicago with a tiger beer can at every X-plosion night. Aadu Machi!
Y
They Call Him: Yaya Yuvaraj
They Say: He's the dance group leader. Ponna style la machi.
Z
They Call Him: Zookeeper Subramaniam
They Say: From eagles to tigers to snakes, no animal has not been tattooed on his body.
