Rough Rhymes

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Just in case you're newly attached and just got started on this whole women's' saga, I present to you words from the Confucius. [Not really the Confucius, but yea, who cares?]

Word: Fine
According to my Confucius: This is the word women use to end a conversation when they are right and you need to shut up.

Word: Five minutes [This idea must have came about thanks to my mum]
According to my Confucius: It's half an hour if she's getting dressed. An hour if she's bathing or sometimes 2 hours when she's on the way.

Word: Nothing
According to my Confucius: This means "Something" and usually ends with the word fine. [See above for meaning]

Word: Go ahead
According to my Confucius: This means "Don't!" It's basically a dare. Not permission.

Word/Sound: Loud Sigh
According to my Confucius: This is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means that she thinks you're an idiot and she's wondering why she's wasting her time with you arguing over nothing.

Word: That's OK.
According to my Confucius: This is one of the most dangerous statements women make. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistakes.

Words: Thanks
According to my Confucius: A women is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say "You're welcome"

Word: Whatever
According to my Confucius: It's a women's way of saying &%#%# YOU! [Now, TRUST ME! You wouldn't wanna hear the word]

Labels: Confucius, Warning, Women