Thursday, December 28, 2006
Women Just Don't Listen
Disclaimer: Do not read if you're a women.
There are some things in life that just don't click. Just like most men see it pointless to listen to a women talk about make-ups and shopping, most women too don't want to hear anything to do with balls. (Ball here referring to a soccer ball before you get a lil' excited) It's funny how a friend, who plays netball by the way, thinks 22 men running after one ball is so ridiculous. In netball, a group of women run after one ball too. What's the bloody difference?? Some people just can't see concepts.
Today, for one reason or another, I suddenly got reminded of those days I'd follow my friends shopping. To be buzzing around walking aimlessly is not in the 'favourites list' of a man. I sometimes wonder if women actually developed their sense of patience through shopping. It takes an extensive load of patience I'd tell you. Seriously no laughing matter.
It's also no laughing matter when you follow a woman shopping. Not when she ain't mute and most of the shopping you accompany her is done verbally rather than the eye. I was sitting down today when memories of me wearing out my soles at Junction 8 haunted me. There's no way in hell that anything is gonna make me walk around like a mad man. Even if I have to get something badly, the 3 vulgar steps that I follow strictly when shopping is:
1) Chee (See)
2) Bai (Buy)
3) Fuck Off
But when shopping is done with a women who fights or tries to bring politics into the picture at every instance she gets, it starts to get pretty tough. The sad thing here is, we can never be too sure who falls under which category. A horrendous sight is when someone who looks as timid as a mouse starts to bargain like a cheetah. The haunting memory, dated a couple of years back and as detailed as I can recall, as goes:
Met a friend at Bishan McDonald's. It's quite demoralising when this cursed heart of mine starts to feel for people who actually don't have someone to talk to. Especially if they're damn nice and they are often treated unfairly by majority. Don't blame me, I like to play the 'big brother' role. But when the word 'slacking' is camouflaged, and is actually a bear-trap called shopping all concealed in the blessed name of friendship, there's no way I could have seen the dissimulation.
After enough breakfast to keep me filled for the next two weeks, the 'pain in the ass' of a friend decides to walk around so as to digest food cum look for a handphone casing. It's such a rip off when you don't get the hidden message that reads "This is your unlucky day" when they innocently say "Let's walk around"
I walked all around Junction 8 just to look for a flower printed handphone casing. Upon repeated failures to asset a suitable design, and the word suitable is a highly subjective word here depending on the women, we finally discovered one that was pretty decent. That was the start. A five minute debate was done on how much cheaper she got have got the handphone casing for elsewhere. Another five for how much she can get it discounted at. And finally another five minutes on if she can purchase other items but get it discounted just because she already purchased one earlier from the same damn cursed shop. When one women talks, it's a lecture. When two of them communicate, it's a debate. But with the manager eventually adding herself into the discussion, thus making it three women, it's definitely a war. After much discussion and team talks, and while you're at the side planning to throw a twenty dollar bet that the handphone casing wouldn't be purchased in the end anyway, the champion of a friend leaves the shop empty handed while the salesgirl was mumbling something which translated into my ears as "Chow Chee Bai!" End of story.
Wondering why I had to share this story? See, I don't blog unless I have to message to send across to my friends. You think I'd rather sit here and type when I could actually be at a porn site surfing porn? You bet not. The moral of the story is this:
Never wake a man up in the early morning asking him if he wants to follow you shopping. What the hell are your girlfriends for? What the fuck are they doing? Frying hash browns? Pick up the phone and call them. Tell them you have a digicam so that you all can go out cam-whore, have a "Hey! You got hear anot? Anita kenna fuck by 45 elephants" gossip session, eat till your stomach bloats and later come ask us again if you look fat while getting something which you really don't need but want to since you have a cupboard with an extra space on top of all that rubbish that you already bought in 1800B.C but have never touched till now and most importantly, since your dad passed you extra cash anyway. Just leave me alone. Really. I is need my beauty sleep. There are 3 things in live that is important for all men. (Ok, maybe just me)
1. Food. Never challenge me when I am hungry. Am very serious when I say this.2. Sleep. Whether or not I have been sleeping for an ample 8 hours, doesn't matter. That gives you no right to wake me up. The 9th hour is just as important as the previous 8 hours.3. See, I prefer more of the make-OUT topics rather than the make-UP topics. So yes, as you'd have guessed. The third important is of course sex. Call me whatever you want. It's just in the nature of men. Dun blame us. "Ellam Avan Seyal"Enough said. I is ending here for now. And oh yea, remember the disclaimer at the beginning of this post telling you not to read if you're a women? This brings me to another point. Look at the title of my post for the answer. Adios.Labels: Shopping, Women
Praba
- 6:25 PM
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