Rough Rhymes

Thursday, December 28, 2006

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida. Strange thing is, they hired him because he was so honest and funny. Very honest indeed I'd like to add. Maybe try something like this on your next job interview:

Q: Name
He Answers: Greg Bulmash.

Q: Sex
He Answers: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

Q: Desired position
He Answers: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

Q: Desired salary
He Answers: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

Q: Education
He Answers: Yes

Q: Last position held
He Answers: Target for middle management hostility.

Q: Salary
He Answers: Less than I'm worth.

Q: Most notable achievement
He Answers: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

Q: Reason for leaving
He Answers: It sucked.

Q: Hours available to work
He Answers: Any.

Q: Preferred hours
He Answers: 1.30-3.30pm. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

Q: Do you have any special skills?
He Answers: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

Q: May we contact your current employer?
He Answers: If I had one, would I be here?

Q: Do you have any physical conditions that would prohibit you from lifting up to 50 LBS?
He Answers: Of what?

Q: Do have a car?
He Answers: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs"

Q: Have you received any special awards or recognition?
He Answers: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

Q: Do you smoke?
He Answers: On the job, no. On my breaks, yes.

Q: What would you like to be doing in five years?
He Answers: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blond super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

Q: Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?
He Answers: Yes. Absolutely.

Labels: Job Interview, MacDonalds

Praba - 10:34 PM 0 comment(s)

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