2 comment(s)
Friday, April 10, 2009
The Plus Points
Plus points. Very important factors when it comes to courting. You know, the distance men go just to date a girl, sometimes disgust me. Why bother doing so much? I will never understand this bullshit but hey, since I am the ever suggesting Praba, here we go on plus points.
The Flowers:
You go out to buy her flowers [+5 points]
But return with beer [-10 points]
And lipstick marks all over your face [-15 points]
The Protective Boyfriend:
You check out a suspicious noise at night [+5 points]
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing [0 points]
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something [+10 points]
You pummel it with a sledgehammer [+15 points]
It's her cat [-50 points]
Social Engagements:
You stay by her side the entire party [+5 points]
You stay by her side awhile and then leave to chat with a drinking buddy [-5 points]
Named Siti [-10 points]
Who is a strip dancer [-15 points]
And has implants [-20 points]
And her G-string showing [-50 points]
Saturday Afternoons:
You visit her parents [+5 points]
You visit her parents and actually make conversation [+10 points]
You visit her parents and stare at the TV blankly [-10 points]
And the television is off [-15 points]
Her Birthday:
You take her out for dinner [+5 points]
You take her out for dinner and it's not a sports bar [+10 points]
You give her a gift [+15 points]
You give her a gift and it's a small appliance [-10 points]
You give her a gift and it's not a small appliance [+15 points]
You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months [+30 points]
You wait till the last day and then buy her a dress at the last minute [-10 points]
With her credit card [-30 points]
And whatever you buy is two sizes too big [-100 points]
Thoughtfulness:
You forget to pick her up from the bus stop [-10 points]
Which is in Tuas [-20 points]
And it happens to be raining that day [-30 points]
And her dress gets damaged because of all this [-50 points]
A Night Out With Your Friends:
You have a few beers [-5 points]
For every bear after 3am [-5 points for each glass]
And miss curfew by an hour [-10 points]
you get home at 5am [-20 points]
You get home at 5am smelling of beer and cigarettes [-30 points]
And not wearing pants [-50 points]
And is that her panties? [-200 points]
A Night Out. Just The Two Of You:
You see a comedian [+5 points]
He's crude and sexist [-10 points]
You laugh [-20 points]
You laugh too much [-30 points]
She's not laughing [-40 points]
You laugh harder [-50 points]
Driving:
You lose the direction on a trip [-5 points]
You lose the direction and end up getting lost [-10 points]
You end up getting lost in Yishun 925 [-15 points]
And you end up confronting the anjadis there [-20 points]
She finds out you lied about having a black belt [-50 points]
Communication:
When she talks, you listen displaying a concerned expression [+20 points]
When she talks, you listen for over 30 minutes [+25 points]
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV [+30 points]
All this is because you've fallen asleep [-50 points]
Labels: Dating, Men, Plus Points, Women
Praba
- 10:28 PM
0 comment(s)
Thursday, April 09, 2009
The Jealous Questions
You know, the gender war between men and women will NEVER end. It's just how nature is. I will never get along with any girl. I just somehow get put off at some time. And so will they. It's just not me to click with a girl. And they too, on the other hand, will never understand me. And I don't need them to actually. Sometimes, things are better left unsaid and untouched. But I will answer basic questions. The ever honest me.
Q: Why are men such jerks?
A: It's in the testosterone. Much similar to your PMS thingy. We men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter? [And it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure] Hormones modify behaviour. We're just misunderstood.
Q: Why do men always have to ogle at other women?
A: Again, this is a testosterone thingy. Do you honestly think all that testosterone fell off from our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just better at not getting caught. It's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorise it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we tend to stare longer and as much as we can to try and burn this into our memory.
Q: Why do men always touch themselves, especially in public?
A: We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public just doesn't give me the excuse to not adjust him. It's uncomfortable you know?
Q: Why do men always say such stupid things?
A: We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see you women get frustrated by a few simple [and well chosen] words.
Q: Why are men so uncommunicative?
A: So that you learn to shut that big fat mouth of yours too if you always get into trouble by opening it and saying the wrong stuff.
Q: Why do men have to act such retards?
A: Actually we don't have to. We do it because we enjoy it.
Q: Why can't men just share their feelings?
A: Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea on how we feel? Unless you're talking about a brick landing on my head from the 30th storey, I have no idea how I feel.
Q: Why can't men just say "I love you"?
A: Men are taught from tender young age to be self sufficient. To say that we love you is equivilent to saying that we need you. Most men consider this a character fault. It's not easy to admit one's character fault, is it?
Q: Why do men say "I love you" when they barely a women?
A: Haha! Aren't you supposed to be special? Some men consider this a special way of saying that you're special. And some think it's a sure fire way to get into your pants. [And quite surprisingly, it still works. Ho ho ho]
Q: Why doesn't a man sometimes answer a women?
A: We simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your stupid questions. If we think we do not have the answer or that you will not like the answer, we will keep quiet and preserve the energy for other things.
Q: Why do men just fart out loud and not maintain it on the low?
A: Actually, I was doing up a post on farts. I will release it on a later date but the reason why we fart is to show that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's a sign of affection. [Besides, holding it back for hours causes stomach cramps]
Q: Why do men hate shopping?
A: This, I need to badly answer. It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it and bring it back. Who the hell wants to spend hours to look at things we don't intend to buy? Besides, what the fuck are your female friends for?
Labels: Gender Fights, Men, Women
Praba
- 10:35 PM
0 comment(s)
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
What's Good And What's Not
It's in the human nature to believe that the worst, only happens to them. Nothing peculiar. Always happens. Everyone's guilty of it. But, you'll never know. As listed below, things could be a lot worse actually.
Bad: Your vibrator is missing
Worse: Your daughter borrowed it
Bad: You find a porn CD inside your son's room
Worse: You're in it
Bad: Your children are sexually active
Worse: With each other
Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser
Worse: He looks better than you
Bad: Your son's involved in satanism
Worse: As the sacrificial
Bad: Your wife's leaving you
Worse: For another women
But sometimes the good don't last. Like this:
Good: Hot outdoor sex
Bad: You're arrested
Worse: By your husband
Bad: The secretary said 'yes'
Worse: But your wife says 'no'
Good: The teacher likes your son
Bad: Sexually
Worse: He's gay
Good: You came home for a quickie
Bad: So did your neighbour
Good: Your boyfriend's exercising
Bad: So that he can fit into your clothes
Good: Your child's waiting for the prince in shinning armour
Bad: Your son that is.
Good: Your wife's kinky
Bad: With the neighbours
Worse: All of them
Ah damn! Now I am convinced fate has it's cruel jokes. So long!Labels: Bad, Worse
Praba
- 12:41 AM
1 comment(s)
g a y a @
That's a very big contrast! All the best wherever you are. Gonna miss a good blogger though. =)
1:00 AM
@
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