Rough Rhymes

Sunday, March 09, 2008

You don't have to wait no further. I am back here. First of, I lost my handphone. Some lucky soul has just won himself a brand old, no camera, half fucked key pad and non existent ringtone which is better off not heard Nokia 6100. [I think that's the model number. I was drunk when I bought it.] But, the point that's being magnified here is that I lost your numbers. All of your numbers be it you're human/moss living/tadpole/antelope or sperm, I've lost your number. If you've read this and you feel you're of 2 cents worth at least, send me your numbers VIA email/pigeon/fax/mail/smoke signal. The email add is on the right. Don't ask when, where, how and why it happened. I ain't explaining no shit. Shit happens.

The part that gets onto my nerves when I lose my handphone is when I have to call Starhub to get my line suspended till I get my phone replaced. They're still the same since the last time I had a Starhub line and eloped without paying the outstanding $400. Which to date, might have turned $1000 inclusive of interest and lawyer fees. Poor chaps. But, still staying on the same topic, you still punch '0' for the operator who's always on hold. It's about time they go "Please hold while your call is being transferred to a customer care consultant who's always on hold and never comes back to assist you till you're dead pissed and you feel like splitting open his throat." And what adds salt to injury is when they go "Your call is important to us. Please hold and we'll attend to you shortly." Are you telling me 30 minutes on the phone listening to some music that makes me feel like bisecting a bullfrog short? I could have gone on a cruise to Switzerland and back for the amount of time she took.

"Bitch, please. You must have a mental disease."

On other news, if you're wondering what the $%&@#!!! happened to me, I'm involved in an operation. "Searching" for Mas Selamat Bin Mak Dia Mia Puki. [In direct translation, Mas Selamat s/o his mother's *coughs*] Listening to the story of him escaping while pissing really piss-es me off. Millions of questions run through my mind now but why wasn't there no grilles on the toilet window? Who the fuck was the contractor? Phua Chu Kang? Although I know deep down where he might be at this very instance, I'd shoot that motherfucker to death IF I were to spot him. It ain't no joke when I'm out in the blazing sun for 12 hours without sleep looking for someone who's not gonna turn up. If you happen to bump into him while clubbing, please let him know I'm on a personal hunt for his limping soul. Since I'm Praba and I was come up with solutions that are as smooth as lotions, I'll suggest one place where he could be found:

O Bar. I keep telling my captain Mas Selamat might be at O bar on Wednesdays cause it's ladies night. He just refuses to listen and laughs at my suggestions. Wait till I bump into him when I am clubbing one day. I have this funny gut feeling about the bouncer there. He looks like he knows one or two about that limping bastard. I'll unveil this enigma.

Labels: Mas Selamat

Praba - 11:22 PM 0 comment(s)

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