Saturday, December 22, 2007
I'm a soldier, ain't I? There's no way I'll spare the SAF from my blog, would I? Absolutely not. I am on a 14 day annual leave till Christmas. And yes, advanced Merry Christmas to you since you know I might not blog for a long time to come if not for today. Though I is on leave, the SAF disease just sticks with me. I just can't help it. What can I do? As a arty man, I just have to. And what do SAF men do when they're on leave? I'll give you the most common 10.
1) Wake up at 5.30am then go back to sleep.
2) Tell mum to stand-by cooking.
3) Make siblings shout "ROOM!" and stand at attention when entering the house.
4) Seek psychotherapy to deal with lingering Sunday night book-in depression.
5) Continue to use No. 4 to hide in bushes along Fort Canning Park to disturb lovers making out. [I was there just yesterday]
6) Buy Malay dictionary to find out what all those commands really mean.
7) Shout "Grenade!" when throwing things at someone.
8) Tell family and friends, while exaggerating [Admit it], how they had to undergo all the 'shiong' training.
9) Shout the SAF 7 core values before drinking a jug of Vodka Cranberry.
10) Plan how to 'keng' the next phase of training, marking out all important days in calendar to suit personal plans.
Trust me, it's true, it's true. And just before I go off, an ode to National Service:
Native, born on native soil
Raised till eighteen, made to toil
To defend a tiny land
That’s the Singaporean man
On enlistment, BMT
Sergeant scold your family
Meet your Encik, CSM
The company's stupid man
They'll take you into a room
One man over many loom
Then you must prepare to swear
For this island always wear
Colour green and nothing more
Admin, PT and smart 4
They will strip you to the core
Fear not you're the nation's whore
They'll give you a gunnysack
Change you into vest and slacks
2 years of your life they'll take
You to hell until you break
Be prepared you new found dog
They'll make you wash and unclog
Urinals and other stuff
2 years are more than enough
In this life you'll never find
Better times to lose your mind
Welcome whore and please don't cry
You've already sworn to die
Learn to march and learn to sing
Songs that do not have meaning
But don't stop or wonder why
You're an idiot now green guy
Brains don't work in this army
It runs in Lee's family
Meet your rifle, your new wife
She's your friend, your foe, your life
Strip her tenderly with care
Or sergeant will screw you there
Here's your SBO and helm
You're now warrior of the realm
Honor, pride and glory be,
Bring this country harmony
Smelling like a mad wild boar
Dolled up in your goddamn 4
In the bus or up a train,
People may smell and complain
"Chow peng kia! They’re so smelly
All the botak so ugly."
Hang in there don't be let down
You're protector of the crown
Sergeants you must look up to
All the training they've been through
They KNOW they have seen the world
To them you're a baby girl
Like lions they are inside
They're just pussy cats outside
Think that SISPEC made you good?
Come on let’s try prison food
All these street smart wannabes
Grew up eating mommy's peas
Educated know all jacks
That is why they’re all called SPECS
Think a sergeant's hard to be?
Wanna come try RTC?
Yes you're somebody down here
Recruits look at you and fear
Grow up! Naive simple man
In this army brains don't stand
PC! PC! You're a Sir
Back in JC you're a blur
Born with glasses nerdy whore
Never seen the world before
To them NSF are dogs
Idiots meant to do shit jobs
Given to fulfil a cause
Treat them like you'd treat a horse
We must salute officers
All commissioned regulars
We address them all as Sirs
Just amazing, these soldiers
Instilling a sense of pride
Hunks that for this land would fight
They look so fierce in smart 4
So fierce I can’t wait for war
I'm sorry but ain't it true?
Sucked until your face turned blue
Which army in history
Controlled by a nerd sissy?
Native, born on native soil
Raised till eighteen, made to toil
To defend a tiny land
That’s the Singaporean man
On enlistment, BMT
Sergeant scold your family
Meet your Encik, CSM
The company's stupid man
They'll take you into a room
One man over many loom
Then you must prepare to swear
For this island always wear
Colour green and nothing more
Admin, PT and smart 4
They will strip you to the core
Fear not you're the nation's whore
They'll give you a gunnysack
Change you into vest and slacks
2 years of your life they'll take
You to hell until you break
Be prepared you new found dog
They'll make you wash and unclog
Urinals and other stuff
2 years are more than enough
In this life you'll never find
Better times to lose your mind
Welcome whore and please don't cry
You've already sworn to die
Learn to march and learn to sing
Songs that do not have meaning
But don't stop or wonder why
You're an idiot now green guy
Brains don't work in this army
It runs in Lee's family
Meet your rifle, your new wife
She's your friend, your foe, your life
Strip her tenderly with care
Or sergeant will screw you there
Here's your SBO and helm
You're now warrior of the realm
Honor, pride and glory be,
Bring this country harmony
Smelling like a mad wild boar
Dolled up in your goddamn 4
In the bus or up a train,
People may smell and complain
"Chow peng kia! They’re so smelly
All the botak so ugly."
Hang in there don't be let down
You're protector of the crown
Sergeants you must look up to
All the training they've been through
They KNOW they have seen the world
To them you're a baby girl
Like lions they are inside
They're just pussy cats outside
Think that SISPEC made you good?
Come on let’s try prison food
All these street smart wannabes
Grew up eating mommy's peas
Educated know all jacks
That is why they’re all called SPECS
Think a sergeant's hard to be?
Wanna come try RTC?
Yes you're somebody down here
Recruits look at you and fear
Grow up! Naive simple man
In this army brains don't stand
PC! PC! You're a Sir
Back in JC you're a blur
Born with glasses nerdy whore
Never seen the world before
To them NSF are dogs
Idiots meant to do shit jobs
Given to fulfil a cause
Treat them like you'd treat a horse
We must salute officers
All commissioned regulars
We address them all as Sirs
Just amazing, these soldiers
Instilling a sense of pride
Hunks that for this land would fight
They look so fierce in smart 4
So fierce I can’t wait for war
I'm sorry but ain't it true?
Sucked until your face turned blue
Which army in history
Controlled by a nerd sissy?
Labels: NS
