Thursday, December 28, 2006
Yeaps. That's a cockroach. I'll be perfectly honest. I is afraid of them. Especially the flying ones. They make me pee where I'm standing. I seriously have no idea as to why they are surviving. They have totally no objective on earth. So the next time you see one, KILL IT! One that is left unharmed, will only mass mate and produce a million others. So save a lil' money and equip yourself with an insecticide. If needed, I'll buy you one. Rewards will be given to those who effectuate as stated. Meanwhile, since my only crawling fear is the cockroach, I present to you:
Fact: Most cockroach have 18 knees.
I Say: CCB, that's my fav number!
Fact: A cockroach can hold it's breath for 40 fucking, 'pain the in ass' minutes.
I Say: No wonder the 'flushing them down the toilet bowl' trick never works.
Fact: Cockroaches spend 75% of it's life resting.
I Say: Now, how lazy can these sluts get?
Fact: Some female cockroaches mate once and are pregnant for the rest of their lives.
I Say: I knew it! Must be the women la. Must be the women.
Fact: Young cockroaches need only a crack as thin as a 0.5mm wide to crawl into. Adult males can squeeze into a space of 1.6mm.
I Say: I is using nippon paint to cover up every single crack from now on.
Fact: Cockroaches can run up to three miles in an hour.
I Say: I is faster. I run at the speed of light when I see a cockroach.
Fact: Male cockroaches transfer sperm to females in a "gift-wrapped" package called a spermatophore when they're interested in the female. Some males cover the package in a protein-rich wrapping that the female can eat to obtain nutrients to raise her young.
I Say: Aww, so sweet. CHEE BAI! WHAT IS THIS? ROMANCE?
Cockroach Facts
Fact: Most cockroach have 18 knees.
I Say: CCB, that's my fav number!
Fact: A cockroach can hold it's breath for 40 fucking, 'pain the in ass' minutes.
I Say: No wonder the 'flushing them down the toilet bowl' trick never works.
Fact: Cockroaches spend 75% of it's life resting.
I Say: Now, how lazy can these sluts get?
Fact: Some female cockroaches mate once and are pregnant for the rest of their lives.
I Say: I knew it! Must be the women la. Must be the women.
Fact: Young cockroaches need only a crack as thin as a 0.5mm wide to crawl into. Adult males can squeeze into a space of 1.6mm.
I Say: I is using nippon paint to cover up every single crack from now on.
Fact: Cockroaches can run up to three miles in an hour.
I Say: I is faster. I run at the speed of light when I see a cockroach.
Fact: Male cockroaches transfer sperm to females in a "gift-wrapped" package called a spermatophore when they're interested in the female. Some males cover the package in a protein-rich wrapping that the female can eat to obtain nutrients to raise her young.
I Say: Aww, so sweet. CHEE BAI! WHAT IS THIS? ROMANCE?
Fact: There are 5000 species of cockroaches in the world.
I Say: Yikes! But they can be specified under one category anywhere- Disgusting.
I Say: Yikes! But they can be specified under one category anywhere- Disgusting.
Fact: A cockroach can live a week without its head.
I Say: Don't they like ever die in an instance?
Fact: Cockroaches can withstand a temperature as low as zero degree celsius.
I Say: Time to store them in my fridge.
Fact: A cockroach that has just shed its skin is white with black eyes.
I Say: What is called now? After casper the friendly ghost, we have with us now, cocksper the friendly cockroach.
I Say: What is called now? After casper the friendly ghost, we have with us now, cocksper the friendly cockroach.
All said and done. Just do me this favour. KILL EM'. Adios.
Labels: Cockroaches
