Rough Rhymes

Saturday, September 20, 2008

It's been a while since I wanted to blog. Today, I am at home free and easy. I will be booking in tonight though. This will be my busiest week this month and on the month of October, I will be clearing all my leave and off. I will be at home the Hari Raya week and afterwhich I will return to camp for a total of 10 days before finally settling down at home for the remaining 15 days before flying off to India, New Zealand & Australia. You will not hear from me till January next year. So I thought I write something today just before I book in.

Anyhow, I was watching Crime Watch a few weeks ago about how the mute [With all due respect, and no insult of any kind meant at all] can now call in to 999 for assistance. I think the whole concept is cool BUT, what happens if a mental motherfucker happens to call in? Especially when my friend works in IMH [Institute of Mental Health] and she tells me about the different kind of mental problems at hand. So I, once again legendary, have extended an helping hand to mental people of all kind calling in. This is exactly how the radio operator will speak to help those in need of assistance. And thanks to you Miss Hottie, [Since you don't want your name to appear here], for the different kind of mental problems. [Which is yours by the way?]

"Hi, Welcome to Tanglin Police Station.

If you are Obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are Co-Dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so that we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7. Your call will be transferred to the Mothership.

If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are Manic Depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are Dyslexic, press 969696969696969696.

If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have Amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, I.C number, date of birth, credit card number, pin code and your mother's middle name.

If you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, slowly and carefully press 999.

If you are Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have Short Term Memory Loss, please try to call again later.

If you have Low Self Esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy."

There I go again. Adios.

Labels: Crime Watch, Mental, Phone Operator

Praba - 7:16 PM 0 comment(s)

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