Rough Rhymes

Monday, May 19, 2008

Take note that apparently, oxford dictionary has mad some minor adjustments and these, will be the new meaning to words:

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he has the biggest piece.

Tears: [Women listen] The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic: A book which people praise but nobody reads.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit down to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally fell into a river.

Optimist: A person who, while falling from Raffles hotel, says "See, I'm not dead yet!"

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest. Except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you're late and late when you're early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills and kills you with his bills.

Labels: Dictionary, Oxford

Praba - 2:36 AM 0 comment(s)

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