Sunday, December 03, 2006
Weeks back, I received the second most unwelcomed letter with the exception of the enlistment letter. Which, of course, happens to be the medical letter. Not the most important of letters, in terms of personal ranks, to be placed on your table. So now we have it. I is gonna go for my medical check up on the 26th of December.
Heading for the national service is like a 2 year imprisonment for any man. The idea of national service is to ensure that we are physically and mentally prepared in times of war. But are you sure that's gonna be the case? (pun intended) And the following are top reasons why I shouldn't be in the army:
1) Food ain't good. I need more meal time than training. Good solid ones. Maybe specially catered from 'Sakunthala's restaurant'. I'd prefer with ample of 'apalams' in it. And I prefer drinks like gatorate. H2O ain't good enough officer.
2) I don't believe in pull ups or push ups. The only push ups I believe in is bras. When it boils down to a war, noone is gonna be doing a stone cold stunner or a rock bottom or a tombstone piledriver. We is issued weapons. I jus believe in pulling the trigger.
3) I don't like the colour of the boots. I was a footballer and I was sponsored a bright 'tell it your face' kinda red and white boots. The army boots are as black as me. And by the way, you gimme such heavy boots, how the hell am I supposed to navigate around? The boots probably weighs as much as me!
4) I is all hip hop and R'n'B. You mean you don't have any 'tzai tzai' uniforms? And I prefer bandanas to helmets. The closest thing you could come to hip hop is just a dog tag? Tsk.
5) I prefer the photo of me in my pink I.C rather than the bald me in my 11B.
6) Me is don't like the hairstyle. How can I be botak? Ask those who know me. My ears protrude out more than usual for my own comfort.
7) Who the hell said I am gonna fight in a war?? Are you bonkers? I sprint faster than U.K Sham when I see a cockroach and you want me to fight in a war where there is a possibility of me dying? Where those women who talked about equal rights went to? Catch them!
Adios.
Labels: NS
