Rough Rhymes

Monday, July 23, 2007

Of late, I've been quietly stressing it out to myself that I need to gain some mass. That's one of the many in my 'future plans'. And I've started taking measures.

1) Eggs. From tomorrow onwards, I is feasting on 6 eggs daily. It was supposed to be 2 in the morning, 2 in the afternoon and 2 at night but since I only get up like around 3-4pm daily, I decided to make it 3 in the afternoon and 3 at night. This will continue till I notice an obvious change in my mass. After which, I'll increase the intake to maybe 12. [I'll hope my mum can afford that]

2) Beef. I is feasting on protein rich food. And when protein is mentioned, beef takes the cake for the most protein rich food. And beef is exactly what my favourite food is. I is gonna stock my fridge up with beef patty. When hunger strikes, I am gonna substitute butter for oil in my frying pan, throw that son of a beef patty into the pan, heat the muthafucka well and Boom Shakalaka! I have myself some tasty, fucking orgasmic 'mass gaining' diet.

3) Pork. As much as I hate those creatures for being that filthy bastards that they are on mud, as much as I wish I could insert the negative and positive terminal wire of an electric battery into their left and right nostrils, I've just got to hand them the title for being one of the most protein rich delicacies. Problem is, my mum doesn't quite know how to make anything to do with a filthy grunting creature. [Not yet though]

4) Turkey. There ain't no way in hell my mum is allowing anything to do with feathers into her kitchen. Her definition is, other than quail or chicken, no other bird should be consumed. But who the fuck's gonna care if it's a chicken or a turkey or heck, even an ostrich? They all taste the same anyway.

5) Fish. When I once playfully told my dad I wanted a Japanese girlfriend, my dad laughed it off. Now that I'm past the 21 mark, I think it's about time I remind him that I wasn't joking when I said that. The Japanese eat more raw fish than any other humans in the world. It's about time I followed their style of eating. Slice off a small portion of meat from the salmon and pop it once every 5 minutes while watching TV. That's the idea in mind for now.

If you know any other way in hell, do let me know. And just to slap the dumb thinking off you, eating and immediately heading to sleep doesn't apply for everyone. Adios

Labels: Mass Gaining, Protein

Praba - 12:28 AM 0 comment(s)

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